I sent this as a PM to someone on HT, who suggested I post it (I got NO shame whatsoever), so here is a summation of how some "coming to Hawai`i" posts look. WARNING: offensive language contained within, but as satire...
I've always been in love with the dream of paradise that is Hawa-yi. Though I've never been there, I just KNOW it's where I belong.
So me, my pregnant girlfriend, and our six dogs are going to move there next month. We don't have any jobs or family there, but that's okay, because we can just live in a tent on Waikiki for a few months, until we get jobs as teachers or something.
I just got a couple questions: we've saved up about $800 (well, we will, if I can sell my beater car for $750) - will that be enough to last us for at least a year? I know it's enough to get by back here, where we do everything the best way.
Also - will someone teach me to speak pigeon, so no one will know that I didn't grow up on Hawa-yi? I can probably buy you one beer as payment (domestic only.)
So, I know everyone will welcome me with open arms, and "da kind" aloha spirits when I get there, because that's what island natives are like, right? Unless you're all smug and uppity, in which case YOU CAN ALL GO F**K YOURSELVES, CAUSE I'M A REALLY, REALLY DEEP AND SPIRITUAL AND PEACEFUL PERSON, YOU IGNORANT S**T-HEADS!!!
=The Dood=
P.S.) People there are really accepting of different cultures, so my old swastika tattoos will blend in when I learn to ride the waves, yeah? I can copy some other native tattoos from a book before I get there, if you think that'll help.
I've always been in love with the dream of paradise that is Hawa-yi. Though I've never been there, I just KNOW it's where I belong.
So me, my pregnant girlfriend, and our six dogs are going to move there next month. We don't have any jobs or family there, but that's okay, because we can just live in a tent on Waikiki for a few months, until we get jobs as teachers or something.
I just got a couple questions: we've saved up about $800 (well, we will, if I can sell my beater car for $750) - will that be enough to last us for at least a year? I know it's enough to get by back here, where we do everything the best way.
Also - will someone teach me to speak pigeon, so no one will know that I didn't grow up on Hawa-yi? I can probably buy you one beer as payment (domestic only.)
So, I know everyone will welcome me with open arms, and "da kind" aloha spirits when I get there, because that's what island natives are like, right? Unless you're all smug and uppity, in which case YOU CAN ALL GO F**K YOURSELVES, CAUSE I'M A REALLY, REALLY DEEP AND SPIRITUAL AND PEACEFUL PERSON, YOU IGNORANT S**T-HEADS!!!
=The Dood=
P.S.) People there are really accepting of different cultures, so my old swastika tattoos will blend in when I learn to ride the waves, yeah? I can copy some other native tattoos from a book before I get there, if you think that'll help.
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