Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

[derekjp4]

Hello everyone, my name is Derek. First I'd like to thank anyone who is taking the time to read my post and respond. Any advice would be appreciated.

I am considering moving to either Hawaii or South Florida. I am lucky enough to have traveled to almost every state in the country due to the fact that my aunt works for Northwest Airlines and used to be able to get buddy passes (before they went broke). I am lucky to have done this. I hate the cold and love a tropical climate, and these are the only two places in the county that have this type of climate. I am 26 and live in North Carolina right now. I first went to Hawaii in 1995 and have been there 5 times total. I stayed a month there in 1997. I am a property manager for apartments complexes now, and I could probably find a job on Oahu, but it would pay less than what I make now.

I realize how expensive Hawaii and Honolulu are, and I am willing to accept the change in lifestyle and sacrifice. I know most of the bad and good things to living in Hawaii but am unsure about one thing in particular. My question deals with how hard is it to make friends in Hawaii. When I was there I didn't see that many young people where I went. I am a respectful and decent person, but in Hawaii no one really talked to me and tried to get to know me like when I went to Florida. Everywhere I went in Florida people would try to get to know me and make friends. In Hawaii I got the feeling that everyone already had there group of friends and was like "who are you, why are you talking to me?" I beleive it may be that in South Florida so many people there are new, so they were like me and looking to make friends. In Hawaii the only people that would talk to me I found out later after talking didn't live there. Did I just not go to the right places or what? Is is really that hard to make friends in Hawaii? I really like everything else about Hawaii better than Florida.

[Got2HaVKaYaNoW]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

If you felt that it was easier to make friends in Florida, well maybe you should choose there to be your new found territory .

take care derek,

KaYa T.

[Hope]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Hello, Derek! Welcome to HT!

I've lived in three states now, going on four. I'm moving to Oahu when my condo sells here. I can tell you from experience, it doesn't matter where you go, you're the "new kid on the block" for a time before making real friends.

There are many ways and places to meet new friends, try taking a class at the community college, joining the local gym, or try a music venue where you have things in common with the regulars. Sooner or later, you will make friends. One thing you cannot do, is force the issue. Friendship happens naturally, when you have a common interest in something.

Florida will be a cheaper place to live, I thought about going there, myself. I decided on Hawaii for a number of reasons. Think hard about which place you want, do a LOT of research first in regards to housing, jobs, crime rate, etc. before you decide. Hawaii is very pricey, so have yourself an "escape route", meaning money to leave if it doesn't work out for you, or you could end up living on the beach.

Good luck in whatever you choose! I hope all works out well for you

[vivG]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Hawaii doesn't have the same kind of "southern hospitality" that N.C. has -- but neither does South Florida. You'll make friends wherever you are, it just takes some time. Think about other quality of life concerns. Example: we don't have nearly as many hurricanes :-)

[kumukulanui]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Making friends shouldn't be a problem. I managed it and I only get there once a year or so. It's mainly down to what you are like.

Peter Forster

[WindwardOahuRN]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Making friends shouldn't be a problem. I managed it and I only get there once a year or so. It's mainly down to what you are like.

Peter Forster

And how often you are open to buying a round for the house.

[kumukulanui]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Heh - buying a round never hurts eh?

Peter

[Fat Jeff]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

I feel qualified to answer this query since I lived in South Florida before moving to Hawaii. What I found funny was how your experience with Florida vs. Hawaii was the exact opposite of mine. I found Florida to be more redneck than my tastes could stand. And I also didn't care for the very transient lifestyle most young people there lived. Then there was the drug culture...yuck, not my bag at all. Just like any where else I met friendly and un-friendly people there as well as Hawaii. In Florida there was much more issues with drugs & race, the ugly kind of problems. For me Hawaii was the land of instant karma, you get back exactly what you put out. Assimilate and you'll discover the most wonder place in the world to live. Compromises will need to be made in lifestyle, but the new opportunities and the community offer so much more back...I happily made the trade. After 20 years of working my butt off I've even managed to close the gap on a lot of those lifestyle compromises.

For me, S. Florida was not a fit, Hawaii is like a favorite old pair of shorts...fits just right.

[derekjp4]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

I feel qualified to answer this query since I lived in South Florida before moving to Hawaii. What I found funny was how your experience with Florida vs. Hawaii was the exact opposite of mine. I found Florida to be more redneck than my tastes could stand. And I also didn't care for the very transient lifestyle most young people there lived. Then there was the drug culture...yuck, not my bag at all. Just like any where else I met friendly and un-friendly people there as well as Hawaii. In Florida there was much more issues with drugs & race, the ugly kind of problems. For me Hawaii was the land of instant karma, you get back exactly what you put out. Assimilate and you'll discover the most wonder place in the world to live. Compromises will need to be made in lifestyle, but the new opportunities and the community offer so much more back...I happily made the trade. After 20 years of working my butt off I've even managed to close the gap on a lot of those lifestyle compromises.

For me, S. Florida was not a fit, Hawaii is like a favorite old pair of shorts...fits just right.

Thanks for the reply. South Florida does have a lot of messed up people, but when I was there it seemed like everyone was from somewhere else and they were looking to make new friends. In Hawaii, I have got the feeling (maybe I'm wrong) that most people have a close knit group of friends (more so than other places) that they seem to probably have known thier whole life. It seems like in Hawaii it would be harder to "break in" to these groups if you weren't from there compaired to many other cities I have been to. Maybe I am thinking too hard on this. I just want to make the right move. I will be coming to Honolulu this January to look for a job.

[surfphotog]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

I visited the islands a few years back, as a surfer it was like finding nirvana, I ask myself daily why am I not there for good, guess I need to keep it as a dream place to keep me sane....

[Discotish]

I'm from Florida, so here are my thoughts...

I moved to the Central East Coast of Florida about 6 years ago after having lived a good portion of my adult life in Atlanta. I knew I needed a change, so I packed up and moved here to Brevard County without a job. My mom had just recently moved to the area, so I had a place to crash until I got settled, but it was a major life transition for me. I lived in Hawaii for a few years when I was younger and I remember being SO HAPPY when we finally moved back to the mainland. My whole family was sick of the isolation and I was just way to young to appreicate the life we had there...Nowadays, I would sell my left breast to live there...Unfortunately, I know it's not the most practical of ideas, as I have a family and our jobs, family and home are here in Florida.

Like some of the other posters have said, whether it's Hawaii or South Florida, you are going to get what you put into it. It took me a few months to make friends, but you're young with no attachments so you have your whole life open ahead of you. Taking a few classes at one of the local colleges is a great way to meet people (even if they are non credit). If you already went to college, maybe you could find an alumni group if you were in a fraternity (a great way to meet new friends with similar interests). If you're religious, maybe a church singles group...Don't expect people to just come up to you and want to be your friend. You have to be willing to give a smile here, a freindly wave or nod there, present yourself in a manner that INVITES others to talk to you.

As for comparing S. Florida to Hawaii...dude, there is NO COMPARISON. I didn't encounter a single unfriendly person on Oahu. Even people stuck in traffic were nice. Maybe I had my "Hawaii Vacation" blinders on, but even my husband commented on how nice everyone was and that he felt like we were in a foreign country compared to people here in Florida. Florida has a very mixed bag of population...rude racist locals, friendly locals, yankees from up north who don't know how to drive, 80+ year old people who shouldn't be driving... South Florida has a heavy Latino flavor and might be very inticing to someone in their mid-20's. Honestly though, (and this is just my opinion) S. FL is very superficial. People may be friendly, but if you aren't making the $$ and don't look the part, the party doesn't last very long. We deal with hurricanes every year. If you want to buy a home, prepare for ASTRONOMICAL (and I'm not joking) homeowners insurance and purchase costs (my premiums went up 110% last year and I'm NOT in South Florida where it costs even more to insure). We don't have state taxes, but for the most part the pay is lousy compared to other parts of the country. I took a $12K paycut when I moved here from Atlanta. Then there is the crime and drug problem of Florida.

If I didn't have family here, I would be moving to North Carolina in a heartbeat, since I can't afford Hawaii until I'm retired!

I just wanted to give my perspective from the Florida angle...

[derekjp4]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Well, I will be going to Oahu to look for a job and visit in 5 days! I will try to view and experience Hawaii in a different way this time and not so much as a tourist.

[cheryllynn]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

im kinda in the same situation as you are....im trying to move to hawaii....first time i went was 3 years ago and have been there every year now....i go during different seasons just to see how each is...maybe we can chat?

[Queenolu]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

I just relocated to HI just yesterday. ITS WONDERFUL HERE!!!

[rhscare]

Re: Another "Should I move to Hawaii thread", but a little different.

Well the answer if fairly hard to answer because alot depends on personality. I think if you come here with a cocky attitude then you may have a hard time making friends. In my experience, the people here are much more open and friendly then anywhere else I have lived. Its easy to talk to basically anyone, and the people here trully do care about each other. Seems you are a pretty easy going person so yes, maybe you were in the wrong area. Were you in Waikiki during these trips? If so, keep in mind, thats like staying on the Strip in Vegas. Its not the real deal. You are mainly meeting people who dont live there, and the ones that do, deal with tourists all day, so may not be as enthused to make friends with everyone.

With that said, I think its important to follow your heart. Its usually right. If for nothing else the simple fact that if you go somewhere with a preconcieved notion of what to expect, thats what you will find. If you come here thinking noone wants to talk to you or become friends, than that is probably what you will find. Either way, good luck on your move, but hey, I dont think you have to worry about friendly people in Hawaii.