I am the kane half of a straight couple. My wahine and I have been together for a little over ten years now, co-habitating for nearly ten years.
We are not married, but function as a couple in our own and everyone else's eyes. We do not live in a common-law state, so the legal concept of a common-law marriage after seven years of cohabitation does not apply.
We own property together, are beneficiaries in each other's wills, and do not have children together (I have an adult daughter from an earlier marriage.)
So - the challenge comes when we introduce each other to people. It is not correct to use the terms "spouse" or "husband/wife"; "boyfriend/girlfriend" seems a little less than what we are, too. "Lover" moves into the TMI realm for too many people.
I often refer to her as my "sweetie," she sometimes calls herself my "other half." Other terms we've used include "engaged" (man, that's one long engagement!), "innamorata" (sounds exotic, no?) or even "POSSLQ" (Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.) When others refer to us as "husband" or "wife," we generally don't bother to explain, unless we know them well enough.
This isn't something that bothers us - in fact, it's a little game to figure out the best term to use --- so I thought I'd bring the HT crew into the fun. What term would YOU suggest, when we try to describe our arrangement in a simple way to others?
(And don't take the easy way out and say "just get married" - we've already agreed that the only person who can make that demand on us is her Okinawan Southern-Baptist Grandmother, and she hasn't hinted anything of the sort yet.)
We are not married, but function as a couple in our own and everyone else's eyes. We do not live in a common-law state, so the legal concept of a common-law marriage after seven years of cohabitation does not apply.
We own property together, are beneficiaries in each other's wills, and do not have children together (I have an adult daughter from an earlier marriage.)
So - the challenge comes when we introduce each other to people. It is not correct to use the terms "spouse" or "husband/wife"; "boyfriend/girlfriend" seems a little less than what we are, too. "Lover" moves into the TMI realm for too many people.
I often refer to her as my "sweetie," she sometimes calls herself my "other half." Other terms we've used include "engaged" (man, that's one long engagement!), "innamorata" (sounds exotic, no?) or even "POSSLQ" (Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.) When others refer to us as "husband" or "wife," we generally don't bother to explain, unless we know them well enough.
This isn't something that bothers us - in fact, it's a little game to figure out the best term to use --- so I thought I'd bring the HT crew into the fun. What term would YOU suggest, when we try to describe our arrangement in a simple way to others?
(And don't take the easy way out and say "just get married" - we've already agreed that the only person who can make that demand on us is her Okinawan Southern-Baptist Grandmother, and she hasn't hinted anything of the sort yet.)
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