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I feel a little sad to see you say that it's laughable that young people aren't capable of true love or understanding it. My husband and I have been together nearly 9 years, since we were 17 and 18, married 7 of those years and always living on our own, never with our parents, ever. Our relationship is beautiful.
Don't be sad. I'm very happy for you. I was speaking generally, and I ask that you read carefully to what I am saying: Yes, it is possible to have love when you are young. And if you do, you don't move across the ocean and date other people. Or did you and your husband do that? If I am assuming incorrectly, I apologize.
The OP said he is moving to Hawaii; his girlfriend is not coming with him. My comments were directed at him and his situation. He and his "great love" have been dating for eight months. He is moving to another state. He has made no indication that she will ever be moving to Hawaii to be with him. They almost certainly will not keep up a long-distance relationship if they are quite young, especially if he is already talking about having an "open relationship," which generally means dating other people. What would be the point of telling themselves they're staying together? Clearly, they are not. I think he's just postponing the inevitable.
It's easier just to break it off than to lie to yourselves about how you're going to keep up your "great love" of "eight months" (!) while you have an "open relationship" several thousand miles away. I'm not saying that to be mean; I'm trying to make it easier for him to do the inevitable. He asked for opinions, I offered mine based on his post.
I believe in true love and fate as well.
But since I am moving to Hilo for school in a couple of weeks I have to break up with my girlfriend. 8 months of great love, nothing could seperate us.
Our love for eachother will continue even though we are going to have an open relationship over seas. I feel this will be the best thing rather than a maintenance breakup. What you say?
bts
One less person to worry about Housing Brandon!
If your love for eachother is strong...then the long distance will work out...
However, don't let that stop you from having a chance at finding another girl here in Hawaii.
I know it will be hard for the both of you... however, so is paying monthly Long Distance phone bills...etc.
No worry... Plenty girls on the Big Island... That's where I met my wife
It's easier just to break it off than to lie to yourselves about how you're going to keep up your "great love" of "eight months" (!) while you have an "open relationship" several thousand miles away.
Probably doesn't matter what we say - they will either succeed (and can say "I told you so") or fail (then we can say it.) Every relationship is different, and while there are certainly success stories of young love standing the test of time, I suspect (note - expressing personal opinion here, not something I can back with scholarly research) MadAzza's assessment is more likely to be the case.
It's difficult (not impossible) to maintain a long-distance relationship, more so if the participants are younger (and therefore less experienced in the world of romantic relationships), even more so with the stated intent of having an "open relationship" (by the standard definition), and even more on top of that with a relationship that has lasted less time than a single television season.
Sorry, Brandon, but I gotta join Maddie's camp on this one - the odds are strongly against you, so you may want to consider a sweet farewell to the relationship, leaving it on good terms with pleasant memories for both parties, and a promise to try to keep a friendship alive.
I had an 8-month relationship with a girl from Roosevelt HS. Back then (1977) we had no internet so when I left for the military (joined before I met her under delayed enlistment) we tried in vain to keep the relationship alive, sending love letters almost everyday to each other, but alas after a few months (almost a year) it was too hard for her to bear and slowly the letters stopped.
Long distance relationships rarely succeed and if your's can then it did indeed pass the single most hardest test of love. The test of time away. For some love becomes distant and it was never meant to be, for others, love becomes wanting and for that it deserves reunification.
But as MadAzza indicated, at such a young age how do you know what true love is if you've never experienced anything more than what you have? If all you've tasted was a tart lemon and never experienced a sweet one then all you know is the tartness of what you have.
If you and your girlfriend have experienced true love, then it was meant to be, but you're up against some intense odds of success. Good luck Brandon.
Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.
I believe in true love however I have never experienced it. I think some people confuse true love with lust. Cupid please visit me soon!!! I am tired of being single. LOL
Here is a quote that a friend sent to me recently. This sums it all up!!!Unforunately I do not know the author of this quote.
"True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."
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