Don't Marry Career Women

[oceanpacific]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

My wife's first husband made the mistake of obstructing her career goals by not letting her spread her wings when she got frustrated by limited advancement. He preferred that she stay in a "safe" job rather than try for a federally-funded position that may or may not have been renewed. So, she packed up and left him. Lucky for me.

When she asked me about another opportunity which came up, I told her to "go for it" as I could make up the financial shortfall in case the position was not renewed. I was quite confident that after 25 years in the system, she'd be able to get another position anyway.

The fact is that her "asking" me about it was a mere formality - she had already accepted the new challenge and thought it was proper to at least ask my opinion.

[GeckoGeek]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

I find it interesting that the original article cited several studies, but none of the rebuttals I skimmed did the same. Is anyone interested in the truth or just want to talk about what's PC?

Sure, the article had some sizable spin on it. Let's start with the fact that he seems to have a questionable grasp on statistics by suggesting that something that is more likely to fail WILL fail. But I just read that as so much journalistic hyperbole - at term that lately seems to be almost redundant.

[Jake's Ohana]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

My family has been blessed five times over. Before we started with kids, both of us were the typical DINKs (Double Income No Kids). We both had solid careers and a lot going for us. We were blessed to find the dream job and allow us to save for a house of our own. After achieving our first home, which was more like a bungalow, gave us the determination that it is time to begin our family. However, I guess it wasn't in our cards as we waited and waited, but no luck on conceiving. After a few years later, and with the help of medical assistance, we conceived our first child. After our son was born and only 3 months old, we conceived our second, a daughter. Boy, it's true what they say about using fertility drugs. Afta da first, betta watch out, going get nudda one right quick.

As we were established in our careers, we generated enough income to afford a caregiver in our home during the day, as both sets of grandparents were still working full-time, or lived far away. During the course of our children's developmental stages, 0 - 1 1/2, my wife was not seeing the kids as often as she worked early east coast stock market hours. And with good ole L.A. traffic, her commute was taxing and lengthy on getting home. When she arrived, she was a treat to our kids, but still a stranger, as their nanny replaced many of the mothery qualities.

One day, my wife just sat at her desk and pondering the thought of what is she doing? She is getting a generous salary, but she is missing out on her family's most precious moments. During this time, the housing market in CA was at its infancy stage of what was to become the awakening of the sleeping giant in California's housing market. I thought rationally, and began to frantically search for a new home as we still had a double income and interest rates were like low hanging fruit. We took advantage of the housing market, sold our home and got into a little larger home to accomodate our growing family. Looking at our finances, we surmised that we would be able to make ends meat on my income alone. We currently live much like paycheck to paycheck, but sometimes have some good days, if Papa receives a bonus. Meanwhile, my wife is taking night school to prepare to go into nursing part time which would allow her flexibility with our kids as they get older.

It has been very tight for us, but after learning on the fly, on how to coupon shop, shopping for bargains, setting budgets, affords us the luxury of having our ohana kept together. I truly believe that the sacrifice that we make for our children will multiple many times over in Love, Respect, Kindness, and Happiness.

Jake's Ohana

[SouthKona]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

its a known fact that women need more intimate time with their spouses it is a part of their chemical makeup to be appreciated for who they are and what they do

HUH??
"Known fact", really, evidence based?
"Chemical makeup" - just what chemical is that?

[WindwardOahuRN]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

A quote from the article:

>>"I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says.<<

Anybody consider that the higher divorce rate when both parties have careers might be due simply to the fact that working women may be far more likely to be able to get out of rotten marriages?

How many of us know of women who have stayed in lousy relationships because they didn't have the financial means to go elsewhere? Especially when there are children involved.

Frankly, the whole article reads like the author has been dumped by a "career girl" (I gagged at that reference---what about the "career boys"?) and is crying in his beer. He wants a Blondie Bumstead. Good luck.

IMHO, a relationship is going to work based on mutual respect, caring, forgiveness, tolerance, and a whole lotta love. IME, the career stuff doesn't matter if these other things are there. All the studies, references, and oh-so-knowledgeable articles aside.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

Vital necessities like health insurance, retirement plans, SSI/TDI/WC/LTD are tied to employment compensation. And with 80% of American women choosing to have children, and they are the ones who leave the workforce for longer periods of time to bear the burdens of childcare and elderly care at a greater proportion than their fellow male citizens, this is going to be a lopsided issue. Also, divorce laws are changing; alimony is the thing of the past, and custody and child support start from the baseline that each parent is responsible for 50% of a child's well-being.

Nothing rankles my @ss faster than the old "SAHM vs WOHM" debate, and I have duked this one out enough times over the years that if requested to provide data to the most anal degree, I might be so inclined to take up that invitation.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

Frankly, the whole article reads like the author has been dumped by a "career girl" (I gagged at that reference---what about the "career boys"?) and is crying in his beer. He wants a Blondie Bumstead. Good luck.

As noted before, why would anyone turn to "Forbes" for romantic advice? Where is Genie Joseph when you need her?

[blueyecicle]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

Maybe we should all start reading the comics for career advice!!

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

Maybe we should all start reading the comics for career advice!!

Whaddya mean "start"? You mean, I've been the only one doing so all this time??? "Far Side" - "Calvin & Hobbes" - "Pearls Before Swine" - "Get Fuzzy" - "Bloom County/Opus" - "Mutts" --- my career counselors, all.

[damontucker]

Re: Don't Marry Career Women

So that's your secret...

I could have sworn you were the writer of the comic The Family Circle