Re: Step-children
Cyn, you understand this at the deepest possible level; you opened up your heart and cared about D. because of the child that he was, not because of the circumstances of his parentage. It's understandable that you feel guilty - but at the same time, you did right. If you had stayed with the "dickwipe ex" just for the sake of D. ... well, bad relationships stay together "for the sake of the children" all the time, and it often leads to the children growing up in a very hostile and poisoning environment, and you never wanted to subject D. to that.
I don't know how much of what you feel is guilt, because you KNOW in your heart that you did right by D. for as long as you possibly could (and he may have been to young to realize it, but he appreciated it, because you gave him something he sorely needed.) You didn't abandon him - you were there as much as you could be.
Closely check out that guilt you feel; much of it may really be sorrow at losing connection with a child you truly love --- and maybe you haven't allowed yourself to mourn it fully yet, thinking D. lost so much more than you did, and you aren't entitled to feel the loss.
(I'm gettin' teary-eyed just thinking about it - I can only imagine how hard it is for you, even after the passage of time. Unhealed wounds, and all that.)
Originally posted by ericncyn
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I don't know how much of what you feel is guilt, because you KNOW in your heart that you did right by D. for as long as you possibly could (and he may have been to young to realize it, but he appreciated it, because you gave him something he sorely needed.) You didn't abandon him - you were there as much as you could be.
Closely check out that guilt you feel; much of it may really be sorrow at losing connection with a child you truly love --- and maybe you haven't allowed yourself to mourn it fully yet, thinking D. lost so much more than you did, and you aren't entitled to feel the loss.
(I'm gettin' teary-eyed just thinking about it - I can only imagine how hard it is for you, even after the passage of time. Unhealed wounds, and all that.)
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