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  • cultural thing...

    I'm Italian and my wife Welsh-Danish.
    Being adopted by Hawaiians I don't know anything else but the hawaiian culture.

    My son was born here, he's got a hawaiian name, eats poi like no other, loves his kalua pig, and rips surfing out there. He's more hawaiian than many other kanaka maoli kids --got plenty of aloha this little one. AND he's white and blue eyes.

    Now when he grows up some people may start calling names like 'haole'.

    Any tips so he doesn't lose his 'aloha' because of some mean spirited people?

    I'm NOT a counselor or shrink or anything like that. That's why I'm asking -I hope I'm not offending anyone.

    Mahalo,

  • #2
    Re: cultural thing...

    you ARE coming across like a counselor. You are offending and you really should tell us if this is just your humble opinion or no. Is this just yer two cents worth? are you affiliated with the company or just like their products?
    FYI, that said, I am only joking.
    Ignore the afrementioned. having said that,
    Sounds like keiki o ka aina got nahteen to worry about. and if anyone geev him heet, he should walk away.
    and I wouldn't worry like ya are, about what may never be, either.
    and don't you dare buy into dat shit about being deeply offended, hurt and sad if and/or when some numbskull flings any kine rude lewd or crude epithets in the general direction of any various and sundry members of yer family, or you will sue, becuz life is ruff and what legal recourse do we have. cuz if ya do, you will be bitchslapped by the cold hard fax of life that sez we create our own paradise and carry it around widdus everywhere. So make yer own reality. Don't buy into a negative one. It ain't yer own. (unless ya want it to be. In which case, stay on yer own side of the mosquito coast. It bites.)
    Last edited by kimo55; July 15, 2006, 09:38 PM.

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    • #3
      Re: cultural thing...

      I would just remind him that other people's bad behavior is a reflection on them, not on him. That goes for all bad behavior (including comments), not just those pertaining to the color of his skin.

      And then, like Kimo said, walk away. Or paddle away.

      Works for me! Usually.

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      • #4
        Re: cultural thing...

        My son was born here, he's got a hawaiian name, eats poi like no other, loves his kalua pig, and rips surfing out there. He's more hawaiian than many other kanaka maoli kids --got plenty of aloha this little one. AND he's white and blue eyes.

        Now when he grows up some people may start calling names like 'haole'.

        Any tips so he doesn't lose his 'aloha' because of some mean spirited people?
        If that's the case, you should foster his love and knowledge of Hawaiian culture, have him learn the Hawaiian language, and he will generally be respected; could you imagine the look on a bully's face if he called your son a 'haole' and he answered back in Hawaiian?
        I ka wā i laulaha ai ka ‘apa‘apa, he hana ho‘āuhuli ka ‘ōlelo ‘ana me ka ‘oia‘i‘o.

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        • #5
          Re: cultural thing...

          I think you mean he embraces the Hawaiian culture and way of life more than many kanaka maoli kids, yes? If that is the case I agree with 'i'iwipolena. For him to learn the language is a beautiful thing and a great way to be able to defend himself from some of the meanies out there. But growing up in the islands, if he were to say to a kanaka maoli/part kanaka maoli kid that he was more "Hawaiian" than that kid, I'm sure that wouldn't sit right if they knew he was of pure "haole" blood. It's all about the way one comes across to me.

          My sons are part-Hawaiian, also with Hawaiian first names honoring members of my ohana who have passed on and our surnames. They will probably deal with the "haole" comments someday because they are half, and look it! No reason that it should ruin their aloha, kids are gonna be kids, just gotta teach them to not let it get them down.
          I'm disgusted and repulsed, and I can't look away.

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          • #6
            Re: cultural thing...

            Don't teach your kid that "haole" is an insult. When most people say it, it's not.
            But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
            GrouchyTeacher.com

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            • #7
              Re: cultural thing...

              Originally posted by 'i'iwipolena
              If that's the case, you should foster his love and knowledge of Hawaiian culture, have him learn the Hawaiian language, and he will generally be respected; could you imagine the look on a bully's face if he called your son a 'haole' and he answered back in Hawaiian?
              Yeah, considering most of that type of racist bullshit comes not from kanaka maoli but from descendants of Asian cultures, the recipient of the Hawaiian language dressing-down probably won't even understand that it's Hawaiian, and will repeat, from ignorance, his smug, bigoted mantra: "Fucking haole!"

              The better man will walk away.

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              • #8
                Re: cultural thing...

                .....no can offend you without your permission. My version of a very famous quote.
                You Look Like I Need A Drink

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                • #9
                  Re: cultural thing...

                  Originally posted by nachodaddy
                  .....no can offend you without your permission.
                  yes. amen.
                  But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
                  GrouchyTeacher.com

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                  • #10
                    Re: cultural thing...

                    Originally posted by kalani_01
                    Now when he grows up some people may start calling names like 'haole'.

                    Any tips so he doesn't lose his 'aloha' because of some mean spirited people?
                    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
                    Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

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                    • #11
                      Re: cultural thing...

                      I always see this type of racism. Even against Hawaiians in my family! My uncle was 25% Hawaiian 25% Chinese and 50% German. His mom and dad broke up when he was young and his German mom from Canada raised him in Hawaii. He had european features, he didnt look Hawaiian or Chinese. When he was young all the kids used to call him haole. Hows that?! You are a Hawaiian on your own land and you have a immigrant call you a haole!?

                      I seen this in the water too. A guy started a fight with my friend who is part Hawaiian but looks haole. His cousin steped in (tall built Hawaiian Portuguese guy). And when he said that he was his cousin and that he was Hawaiian the guy looked like he was in deep ****.

                      My advice is as long as you teach him the Hawaiian spirit he will be a good person reguardless if people call him haole or not. I remember when I was a keiki I went to summer fun and we went to the beach with the Aikau family to learn to surf. I remember this girl calling this one kid a haole and Eddie Aikau's sister asked her "why did you call him that?". There was silence because all the keikis knew the Aikaus and had tons of respect for them. Then she said "youre making him feel unwelcome". The girl didnt do it anymore. I love the Aikaus they are good people who represent the islands with love for everyone.
                      Aloha

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                      • #12
                        Re: cultural thing...

                        Originally posted by KOKekai
                        When he was young all the kids used to call him haole. Hows that?! You are a Hawaiian on your own land and you have a immigrant call you a haole!?

                        I seen this in the water too. A guy started a fight with my friend who is part Hawaiian but looks haole.
                        this happens to my 14 yr old son quite a bit. the way he handles it depends on the situation and his mood. sometimes he just walks away with a "wotevas"....and sometimes he says "u know what...i'm NOT haole...but if i was DEN WOT!?!?!" while i wish he wouldnt go with the second option...my husband has told me that "da boy gotta show he's willing to stand up for himself"

                        in my talks with my son, i've complimented him on how he deals with racism. he told me "ma, i dunno why u so surprised. u and dad da ones dat taught me not to make other folks silliness my problem. all da racism u and dad dealt with in your lives....if u can do it...den i can do 'em too!!"

                        and we thought he neva listen............

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                        • #13
                          Re: cultural thing...

                          Ahhh but this question brings it all back to ethnicity vs culturalism. In this case being raised in a Hawaiian family gives you the strength to better understand the Hawaiian culture more than a Kanaka Maoli who was raised in Wisconson three times over.

                          And when it comes to nationalism, I believe as in you case that one can be born into a culture and be more representative of that culture even though they may not have a single drop of that ethnicity. That said I believe one can also be of pure blood but not raised in that culture and not have a clue as to their ancestor's beliefs. Look at me, 100% Japanese but I don't speak the language nor do I want to. Born and raised in Hawaii.

                          So when Hawaii is given back to the Hawaiian Monarchy (hey it could happen) who gets a piece of the pie, the 100% Kanaka Maoli who never set foot or understands what it means to be Kanaka Maoli...or the "Haole" who's ethnicity is Italian/Dutch/Welch but can whoop that Kanaka Maoli's okole when it comes to Hawaiian cultural heritage? I'd pick the Haole in this case.

                          To me being born Hawaiian doesn't mean you automatically understand it's heritage unless you live it. One can study it but like swimming, you can't teach a drowning person to swim by throwing a book on swimming at him. You gotta live and embrace it.

                          When it comes to being anything, if you live and embrace it...it will be impressed upon to others around you naturally. Eh get plenty Haole's up here that know more about Hawaii than the typical stereotyped "local". And I know some Hawaiians who can't even speak their ethnic tongue yet expound on their cultural heritage without even embracing it.

                          You may be Haole by physical standards, but if you want your keiki to follow your upbringing, then you as their parent must live it as you have and immerse your child with that attitude.

                          But then again I'm Japanese without a trace of Hawaiian except thru reverse osmosis (my wife and kids are), so I don't have a shark protecting me nor do I have any Iwi to reflect upon, so what do I know right? I'm just expounding my western thinking on a non-western cultural thing...but I live and embrace it, just like you as an adopted non-Hawaiian into a Hawaiian family.

                          So who's to tell you or I that we don't know anything (except Kimo who tells me that all the time ), the Kanaka Maoli that's so ignorant he thinks Kau Kau is a Hawaiian phrase, or us who know better.

                          And then again there's Susie's claim to be Hawaiian by virtue of claiming it as a residence...I'm a resident of Hawaii yet I'm not Hawaiian. But culturally, I could, so could Susie but that doesn't make us Hawaiian. And by that comparison, neither could you as an adopted child into a Hawaiian family. I believe KSBE also recognizes that fact that to be admitted into KSBE as a Hawaiian you must prove your Hawaiian lineage down to three levels. My wife's mother was adopted by a Hawaiian family, thankfully the court records (sealed but available to her mom) indicated my mother in law's biological mother was Hawaiian, making my wife part Hawaiian as well.

                          So what exactly is Hawaiian? When it comes to taking your piece of the Hawaiian Lands pie, there's gonna be a lot of pissed off Hawaiians who thought they were and found out they weren't.

                          I think that's why a lot of us born and raised in Hawaii prefer to be called "Local" because that shoe fits. I'd love to be Hawaiian but the closest I can get is to be a Hawaiian-influenced Japanese/American. I'm totally screwed, a man without a nation as they say when Hawaii is given back to the Kanaka Maoli. I guess Idaho ain't that bad it's lava fields have a bigger surface area than Hawaii's and they do have a street called, "Hibiscus street". My first Palani Vaughn record was at a record store in Nampa, Idaho.
                          Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

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                          • #14
                            Re: cultural thing...

                            Originally posted by craigwatanabe
                            I think that's why a lot of us born and raised in Hawaii prefer to be called "Local" because that shoe fits.
                            Well said Craig. Also have to keep in mind that "Local" shoe comes in many sizes. Not all locals think or act the same.

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                            • #15
                              Re: cultural thing...

                              Originally posted by helen
                              Well said Craig. Also have to keep in mind that "Local" shoe comes in many sizes. Not all locals think or act the same.
                              What? You mean you're not like me? Hmmm maybe that's a good thing
                              Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

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