If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it go?

[Mike_Lowery]

For me, I'd question some things that I was doing. Nothing bad, but I guess there were things I did on the reg that I'd consider "dumb" today.

Today Me: Did you clean your room today?
Adolescent Me: No, I just got Madden 93 at GEM today.
TM: Dude, get rid of those video games. You play it all day, and you're gonna get fat.
AM: Naw, I'll always be fit and slim.

[cynsaligia]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it go?

i like this thread!

AM: sheesh...i lose all that baby fat only to regain it in my thirties? junk.
TM: yes, junk. but you have only yourself to blame. well, yourself and your future abusive boyfriend, may his penis develop a decubitus ulcer and become as foul as his necrotic soul. and you can blame future attorney employers who convince you to work long hours for little pay and nothing but stale donuts from safeway to console you.
AM: hey, at least my face stays pretty. and wow! where did i get those chichis? they're not store-bought, are they?
TM: tarantado! *smacks AM* of course not. just as much as mom could never convince you to get a bridge installed in your nose, you never went for the fake frontals. god gave you these at 26. now, onto more important matters--do not leave school even tho ma makes you crazy and even tho you have a curfew of midnight at 22.
AM: i hafta come home by midnight when i'm 22? geez! i can't even come home after 7:00 without mom calling the policia. hasn't she ever heard of a late bus?
TM: never mind already! just remember this: stop cutting classes and make sure you grad when you're supposed to. stay away from guys named chris lee who aren't chinese. also, make sure to watch mama when she cooks pork adobo. because even at thirty, you still can't do it the way she does, and mom cooks it totally different from mama. and try not to hang out too much with our cousin the ho, not bcs you'll go all ho-ey, too.
AM: then why?
TM: bcs our cousin the ho is can't stop being a ho and she'll do something that will result in you doing something which will end up with you and cousin the ho and her sister never speaking to you ever again. and that sucks bcs you won't have any other cousins to talk to.
AM: there'll always be danny.
TM: *silent*
AM: wait...what do you mean? how come you're being so quiet? what happens to danny?


okay...never mind. i just made myself cry.

[Mike_Lowery]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it

^
I feel your pain. I have this great article on the double standard in overprotecting females in Filipino families...your curfew in adulthood reminded me of it.

[jdub]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it

Adolescent Me: I'll never get a girl.
Today Me: Why do I fall in love only to be abandoned?

Adolescent Me: I wanna be in a band and be famous.
Today Me: I wanna be in a band and get a paycheck.

Adolescent Me: I don't wanna go to work.
Today Me: I love my work. But I still don't wanna go.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it go?

Adult me: Son are you gay? I mean you aren't dating any girls

Kid me: Dad I'm a nerd, girls don't like nerds...at least not in 1975.

Adult me: Don't worry kid in 30-years every kid will be wearing baseball hats cocked sideways like a dumb ass thinking it's cool...BTW straighten that cap out you look like a dumb ass.

Kid me: No kidding? Nerds will be cool?

Adult me: Damn right in time even the jocks will be carrying electronic gizmos with flashing lights and sounds, just like your Heathkit electronic project in your Pan Am bag.

Kid me: Aw it's just a project I'm making...I think I'll call it an iPhone

Adult me: Look Steve, stop with these delusions of grandure and eat your apple!

Kid me: Apple! What a neat name for my future company...But I love Avacados!

Adult me: Son trust me Apple is better, next thing you'll be telling me is Lisa is a good name for your first daughter!

Kid me: Nah I'll name her...um...Vista! Yeah that way she can remind me of living in some kind of John Lennon Hari Krishna commune or something shovelling manure all day.

Adult me: Now you're spooking me son...why don't you go outside and play with that creepy kid Bill, I think he's trying to steal your paper route.

Kid me: Nah Bill's a nerd too he's such a DOS!

And the rest is history...

[Menehune Man]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it

TM: You should stop smoking everything.
AM: You didn't, so why should I?!

TM: Study harder and forget about the girls for now, there'll be plenty later.
AM: I can't! For either of those.

AM: Did I really turn out like you? What a bummer.
TM: Yeah, well you didn't give me much to work with buddy!

That was fun! And theraputic I believe.

[Random]

Re: If "Today You" and "Adolescent You" sat down and had a conversation, how would it

TM: You were such a law-abiding goody two-shoe altar boy, no wonder we didn't get laid.
AM: I'm afraid of getting caught. I always get caught.
TM: That's because you can't run from the scene, you fat pig.

TM: Speaking of getting laid or lack thereof, why do you always be friends with girls?
AM: Isn't that how you start a relationship.
TM: Dude, girls either see you as friend or boyfriend. Not both. Date them and lay them.
AM: What if I want to marry one of them?
TM: Dude, there are better girls outside of high school. Have sex will boost your confidence.
AM: How'd you know?
TM: Because of you, I'm girl-shy!!!

You're right, this is therapeutic.