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Re: Life Just Before Death
MyopicJoe, you said "Why is it so hard to talk to our parents while they're alive and healthy?"
For me, it isn't and it wasn't. I think because we are all unique individuals and so are the dynamics of our relationships that for some it is, and can be for all of us to varying degrees at different times.
My parents were so easy to talk to, we talked our lives together away, the house percolated like the coffee, extended family in and out, and just image in your mind....some Southern (Texas) family, goofy accents and tons of laughter and redneck cliches at times, and when visitors over we could have more than one conversation at once, all within earshot, and when alone...
My parents and I were so close that I must share that the types of things mom and I talked of while she was slowly dieing were the same that we'd had many times before, it's just that she had changed....she had truly been able to forgive and put down the, thankfully though subtle....grudges she had held, the few that existed.
Sorry to be so wordy but if you have parents alive right now, or if you are a parent, I only want to encourage you to get alone with that parent(s) or your kids or child....and be more open, be more blunt, dare to be the first to be, and I think you'll find that in this crazy, mixed up world of uncertainty in every sector of life.....it can be easier for y'all to talk like it was the last day of someone's life.
Nothing is more of a blessing than opening a proverbial "can of worms" and not having it rejected, but the other person opening up and oh wow....the understanding, the sharing flows and you get to know them better and learn so much more. (yes, this effort can be rejected also, but we don't know if we don't try....)
Wishing you well and hey...if you are close to someone that you'd like to hug but they aren't that type of person...why not?! try it, hug 'em and see if it breaks the proverbial ice....or something.
MyopicJoe, you said "Why is it so hard to talk to our parents while they're alive and healthy?"
For me, it isn't and it wasn't. I think because we are all unique individuals and so are the dynamics of our relationships that for some it is, and can be for all of us to varying degrees at different times.
My parents were so easy to talk to, we talked our lives together away, the house percolated like the coffee, extended family in and out, and just image in your mind....some Southern (Texas) family, goofy accents and tons of laughter and redneck cliches at times, and when visitors over we could have more than one conversation at once, all within earshot, and when alone...
My parents and I were so close that I must share that the types of things mom and I talked of while she was slowly dieing were the same that we'd had many times before, it's just that she had changed....she had truly been able to forgive and put down the, thankfully though subtle....grudges she had held, the few that existed.
Sorry to be so wordy but if you have parents alive right now, or if you are a parent, I only want to encourage you to get alone with that parent(s) or your kids or child....and be more open, be more blunt, dare to be the first to be, and I think you'll find that in this crazy, mixed up world of uncertainty in every sector of life.....it can be easier for y'all to talk like it was the last day of someone's life.
Nothing is more of a blessing than opening a proverbial "can of worms" and not having it rejected, but the other person opening up and oh wow....the understanding, the sharing flows and you get to know them better and learn so much more. (yes, this effort can be rejected also, but we don't know if we don't try....)
Wishing you well and hey...if you are close to someone that you'd like to hug but they aren't that type of person...why not?! try it, hug 'em and see if it breaks the proverbial ice....or something.
Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
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