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Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

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  • Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

    In The Star Bulletin http://starbulletin.com/2007/05/29/news/story01.html
    Father says state failed to lock up boy suspect

    Citing past crimes, the man says an Ewa Beach neighbor could still be alive

    By Alexandre Da Silva

    "An Ewa Beach man had long worried that his son's petty crimes would lead to calamity one day.

    The father said he believes the killing could have been prevented, and blamed the state's juvenile services for not helping his son or locking him up sooner.

    Police have said that petition would cite murder, robbery, burglary, auto theft and other charges.

    The father of a 15-year-old murder suspect says the killing of an Ewa Beach woman could have been avoided if law enforcement officials had listened to him and put his son in jail.

    "He had a burglary in Pearl City. The policeman called me up to pick him up, and I told them, 'Why can't you guys lock him up?'" said the man, who gave only his first name, Petelo, in an interview yesterday.

    "They said, 'We cannot because he is underage.'"

    Yes. It could have all been PREVENTED!!! If the Father used good parenting skills. Every time something goes wrong ~ parents always blame the System. They should blame themselves.

    Counselors only know what the child/teenager tell them. They're not "with" them. Parents/Foster Parents are also interviewed. I'm not saying there's no cracks within the system. There are...my own nephew is a statistic.

    The father should have put his foot down and say "NO!" and prohibited his son from hanging around with his friends. He is the Adult. He's the Provider. At the end of the article the father said all his son wanted was to finish high school and become like him?

    And Dee Cycle of Ignorance begins again!!:

    Auntie Lynn
    Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
    Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

  • #2
    Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

    No such thing as bad children. Just bad parents.
    FutureNewsNetwork.com
    Energy answers are already here.

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    • #3
      Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

      Originally posted by timkona View Post
      No such thing as bad children. Just bad parents.
      Eh, I dunno about that. Bad parents were children once too.

      Reality is, it's a combination of all. Child's got issues, parent may not be stepping up just by requesting child be left in jail, and the state being lenient on juvies.

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      • #4
        Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

        Originally posted by timkona View Post
        No such thing as bad children. Just bad parents.
        Gotta disagree with that too....

        That statement is just a bit too much of a blanket statement...sometimes kids just turn out to be troubled human beings, and no amount of love and good parenting can stop it.

        Once a kid gets a certain age there's only so much you can do, you can't watch them 24/7 or make up their young adult minds for them. Even the best parenting in the world is subject to bad outside influence, chemical imbalance, or mental health issues.

        Case in Point.

        I had a cousin who had AMAZING parents, he was adopted....my aunt and uncle were great people, they loved this kid. Gave him a great (albeit modest) home, and loved him and his sister (also adopted) as much as anyone could love their kids

        This kid was the same age as me. Even when we were both 6 years old, I KNEW this kid had issues...he was just a troublemaker, out of control,hyper, didn't listen...he was a rebel, flat out.

        He eventually grew up, started hanging around the wrong element, got into all kinds of trouble, his parents bailed him out. he lied to them about committing these horrible acts, went to court only to be proven guilty....
        He got into drugs, became a heroin addict, ended up in a methadone clinic, and ended up passing away from cancer a few years ago. he was a good guy...just troubled...maybe being adopted had something to do with it, maybe not. He just had a dark side, and was always a bit "off"....

        His sister turned out just fine...Same parenting. These kids both got the same love and attention. Who knows if this kid had chemical problems or what...this was before anti depressants and psych meds....

        Obviously parents have ALOT to do with how their kids turn out, but sometimes there are other issues, it's not all that black and white.
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        • #5
          Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

          Originally posted by tikiyaki View Post
          Once a kid gets a certain age there's only so much you can do, you can't watch them 24/7 or make up their young adult minds for them. Even the best parenting in the world is subject to bad outside influence, chemical imbalance, or mental health issues.

          Case in Point.
          Paris Hilton!!!

          Auntie Lynn
          Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
          Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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          • #6
            Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

            Originally posted by 1stwahine View Post
            Paris Hilton!!!

            Auntie Lynn
            LOL...well, I don't know how much her parents actually did to raise her as a respectful adult or teach her any actual "values"...It seems like her mom is an eanbler for bad behavior, judging by her comments on her kid's verdict.

            She sure as hell doesn't know the "real world" value of a dollar, that's for sure.
            http://tikiyakiorchestra.com
            Need a place to stay in Hilo ?
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            • #7
              Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

              Originally posted by tikiyaki View Post
              [...]Obviously parents have ALOT to do with how their kids turn out, but sometimes there are other issues, it's not all that black and white.
              Well said. I've seen good and bad results from both good and bad parenting...and lots and lots of shades of gray in between.

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              • #8
                Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

                Anyone can see a GREAT parent but they never know what is really happening behind closed doors. I agree it isn't always the parents faults. But you never know what small things they might do that affects a child.
                They may seem to be perfect children ad parents....

                You just never know what goes on behind closed doors.
                Since when is psycho a bad thing??
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                • #9
                  Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

                  Sociopaths, psychopaths and other deeply disturbed people are sometimes born that way. That is why child psychologists tell parents to watch for particular behaviors in such children. We (as in the average person) find it disturbing to think that a child can be "born bad", but it happens.

                  While none of us can know what the circumstances were with this young man, we can certainly see the results.

                  My deepest sympathies to Ms. Ertell's family and friends on their tragic loss.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

                    Originally posted by glossyp View Post
                    Sociopaths, psychopaths and other deeply disturbed people are sometimes born that way. That is why child psychologists tell parents to watch for particular behaviors in such children. We (as in the average person) find it disturbing to think that a child can be "born bad", but it happens.

                    While none of us can know what the circumstances were with this young man, we can certainly see the results.

                    My deepest sympathies to Ms. Ertell's family and friends on their tragic loss.
                    NATURE vs. NURTURE? "The Bad Seed?"

                    Most likely, a combination ..............

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                    • #11
                      Re: Is it The State Or Father's Fault?

                      Originally posted by timkona View Post
                      No such thing as bad children. Just bad parents.
                      Until the children started to plan a murder.
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