Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

[GeckoGeek]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Back in my days there were "district exceptions" where a child could go to a school outside of their area. Is it possible to simply send him to a different school? Transportation might be a hassle, but a lot less expensive then private school.

I agree with the others about gun training - that's how he'll learn respect for it. What's happened is a result of casual attitude toward them. The fact he's a child doesn't matter. I've had it happen with an adult - because the gun was unloaded, they thought it was OK to point it at someone in jest.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Back in my days there were "district exceptions" where a child could go to a school outside of their area. Is it possible to simply send him to a different school? Transportation might be a hassle, but a lot less expensive then private school.

I agree with the others about gun training - that's how he'll learn respect for it. What's happened is a result of casual attitude toward them. The fact he's a child doesn't matter. I've had it happen with an adult - because the gun was unloaded, they thought it was OK to point it at someone in jest.

District Exception is still around but in this case he was expelled from a public school, hence the public school SYSTEM and I'd think he wouldn't be able to go to any of the DOE's public schools except Public Charter Schools.

[tutusue]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Kiwidiva...I'm so sorry your family is going thru this and I admire your attitude about it. What a perfect time to teach an important, albeit painful, lesson to your son...before someone is hurt. This is not only a life lesson for the one son directly involved but also for your other son. Please continue to update us.

[kiwidiva]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Yesterday hubby went back to the school and asked for the kid's homework but the Principal said she wasn't sure if she could provide that! So, while an investigation is being conducted and we wait for our hearing with the Superintendant, the kid is falling further and further behind.

I understand that he was wrong but I think that them not providing him with work to do while he's waiting for his hearing is interfering with his rights to an education since we haven't received any kind of written notification of his suspension yet.

I plan to meet with them about this later today or tomorrow.

I agree with the others about gun training - that's how he'll learn respect for it. What's happened is a result of casual attitude toward them. The fact he's a child doesn't matter. I've had it happen with an adult - because the gun was unloaded, they thought it was OK to point it at someone in jest.

I guess it's not just a personal decision but a cultural one for me. I'm from NZ where apart from farmers and criminals, no one has guns. I didn't grow up around them. In my country, there is no right to bear arms. When I left, the Police didn't even carry guns! Then we spent 7 years (before we came to Hawaii) in Japan where again, nobody has guns. I realize now that I am in America and it's obvious from this incident that my kid(s) need to be taught about guns. I have him working on a project now on what can happen when kids bring guns to school. He didn't even know about school shootings before all this.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Yesterday hubby went back to the school and asked for the kid's homework but the Principal said she wasn't sure if she could provide that!

One could argue then that the Principal also could not be sure if she cannot provide that.

And with that arguement presented I would tell the Principal to err on the side of releasing homework assignments until she can make sure what the policies are especially since no written letter of suspension was drafted yet.

Since no written document exists regarding your son's suspension one can assume he hasn't been suspended yet so really he should be back in school as mandated by the state of Hawaii.

If the Principal doesn't understand the school's own policy on suspension, I suspect that principal doesn't know her/his own job very well and smacks of ineptness, but don't mention that

[acousticlady]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

If the law states that all children under the age of 16 must attend school, doesn't the school have to supply a tutor or something in this case? It seems to me that if the law requires they go to school, shouldn't they have to provide access? I know here in NY they have "special" classes for high school and middle school students who have had discipline problems and have been expelled. I mean, what if you can't afford private school - even catholic school tuition? What if you don't qualify for home schooling? I'm guessing you have to have a degree or something to qualify????? I realize this doesn't apply here, but what if the parents of an expelled student are not high school graduates themselves and are barely bringing in enough to put a roof over their heads and food in their mouths? And if they cannot get a tutor, are they then in violation of the law?

Kiwi - I know it may not feel this way, but this too shall pass...... At 10, your son will have learned a valuable lesson. Think of it this way, he'll never do that again . Aren't kids fun!?

[Mike_Lowery]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Thank you for understanding. You'd be surprised at how many parents will invoke such things as "let the punishment fit the crime" in order to get their kids off the hook without thinking about what it's teaching their own kids.

You seem to be ruling out a private school. If you can find an affordable private school, your child can attend for a year, not fall behind, and then jump right back into public school. Most of the Catholic schools go up to eighth grade and have reasonable tuitions, and since their emphasis is on character education, it sounds like it might be the kind of thing you're looking for. Catholic schools are full of non-religious students, if that's a concern, and the schools know it; I think it could also teach your kid an appreciation for and tolerance of other people's beliefs. If, again, that's an issue. I won't presume to know what you believe or what you teach your son to believe.

There are also several Protestant private schools that go up to eighth grade, and I can recommend a few for academics and for character growth.

I would argue against sending him away. At a time like this, I think it is critical to keep the family together.

this is just about the only advice you need.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

If the law states that all children under the age of 16 must attend school, doesn't the school have to supply a tutor or something in this case? It seems to me that if the law requires they go to school, shouldn't they have to provide access? I know here in NY they have "special" classes for high school and middle school students who have had discipline problems and have been expelled. I mean, what if you can't afford private school - even catholic school tuition? What if you don't qualify for home schooling? I'm guessing you have to have a degree or something to qualify????? I realize this doesn't apply here, but what if the parents of an expelled student are not high school graduates themselves and are barely bringing in enough to put a roof over their heads and food in their mouths? And if they cannot get a tutor, are they then in violation of the law?

Kiwi - I know it may not feel this way, but this too shall pass...... At 10, your son will have learned a valuable lesson. Think of it this way, he'll never do that again . Aren't kids fun!?

See my post #12. The government cannot hold your hand when it comes to parental responsibility. It does mandate that children must attend a qualifying school. As parents we must take responsibility for the welfare of our children and if that means home-schooling because that child broke a policy then that parent must find ways to accomodate their predicament.

You don't need a degree to home school, just follow the requirements and guidelines set forth by the DOE. On the Big Island there are many parents that choose home schooling simply because their homes are so rural their roads constantly wash out becoming flooded for days on end. They typically have no car and school buses don't travel deep into the heavily wooded rainforests of Puna. These parents cannot guarantee they can get their child on the bus or in school on a daily basis, so they home school their kids. Some of those parents are getting their GED at the same time.

For my family when it became obvious that as parents one of us had to quit work, my wife did the honors to ensure one of us was able to take care of them when they got sick. It put a tremendous burden on our family budget but that's what we had to do, it's not the government's fault we had kids.

When you have kids you have to remember there is a law regarding the education of them and if your child happens to become expelled what are you back up plans? If you don't have any you really are going thru life with a blindfold not being able to see the potholes in life that confront you.

[buzz1941]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Zero tolerance for weapons in school is pretty much country-wide. Alas, many schools don't allow mitigating circumstances. Which means that kids are being expelled for penknives.

Your option for the rest of this year may involve home schooling and your boy testing out. DOE is supposed to provide education, but it doesn't have to allow your child into the system. A lot of tutoring at home and a placement exam may allow your boy to continue next year at the proper grade level.

DOE can be capricious. We once testified at the school board that the DOE was violating the admissions law, and showed them the relevant statutes, and their eyebrows went up and they admitted they were violating the statute -- but they decided to continue doing so.

BTW, I have a BB pistol used for hunting rogue bufos, and it looks "real" enough to cause concern. The schools aren't taking chances.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Interesting theories on how schools are now structured poorly for raising boys, in this article from a Canadian newsmagazine. Covers a range of issues, but briefly touches on the "playing with guns" aspect. Should be of interest to all curious about the state of North American educational systems, from parents to instructors.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Interesting theories on how schools are now structured poorly for raising boys, in this article from a Canadian newsmagazine. Covers a range of issues, but briefly touches on the "playing with guns" aspect. Should be of interest to all curious about the state of North American educational systems, from parents to instructors.

Yeah dis is discrimination!!! Ya know pointing a Barbie doll at somebody can be dangerous with those over-anatomically correct boobs of hers. It can take an eye out ya know!

[sinjin]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Now I understand why my son is constantly getting in trouble and he's only in preschool. Girls ruin everything.

[kiwidiva]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Aren't kids fun!?

Ummm... sometimes! Although now that I've read that article from Leo's link, I'm wishing I had three GIRLS!

This is not only a life lesson for the one son directly involved but also for your other son.

Yes, it has been a learning experience for us all. One thing we think we know is that the other one won't EVER touch a toy gun at school. Although I never thought this boy would either, so what do I really know?

The Prinicipal has agreed to give him work to do while he's out and will also be giving us paperwork today regarding his suspension.

I've been bringing him to work with me this week and have had him doing research on school shootings. He's learning a lot. I'm just lucky that my staff and bosses are being understanding but another manager just warned me that I need to be careful about having him at work because someone could report me to CPS for having him out of school! That's all I need!

I would argue against sending him away. At a time like this, I think it is critical to keep the family together.

Again, it's a cultural thing. I was pretty much raised by my grandparents. Thanks to our Military life, my kids have missed the regular Polynesian "extended family" way of being brought up. I had planned to send him to Australia for one year to spend time with my family and also experience school in yet another country but not for a few years yet. That is the last resort.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

As I view it, kiwidiva, your family is already well ahead of many others in dealing with the situation. Unlike too many people I've known, you and yours:

> accept the reality of what happened, whether you like the circumstances or not;
> are not shirking or flinging blame in the situation;
> are actively trying to find a way to turn this into as positive an experience as possible;
> know that whining, b!tching, arguing, fighting (with the school system, with the other families involved, with each other) will accomplish little here;
> are staying deeply involved in working with your son, and not hurtfully dumping on him.

This is a really tough situation to face, and it sounds like you are dealing with it together, as a strong family unit. A lot of families could learn from your example, and you are to be commended.

[buzz1941]

Re: Son suspended for up to a year for playing with BB gun at school

Actually, a little bit of gun-safety training when young removes a lot of the mystique around such weapons. By the time I was in school, I had already handled and fired guns -- Cub Scout training! -- and as a result, would NEVER think of bringing one to school.

I have a close friend who is a middle school counselor in California, and they don't allow much leeway in such matters. They can't. People are killed by guns: (A) Deliberately, or (B) by mishandling, accidents or stupidity.