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Here Comes the Boom (2012)
Kevin James, Henry Winkler, Salma Hayek
There are some big reasons not to see Here Comes the Boom: A ridiculous premise, a trailer filled with stuff that would never happen in real life, projectile vomiting, and what must be a record for predictability in a sports movie. But I saw it anyway because I like Kevin James as a comedic actor. James has an earnest, hard-working likability I have difficulty resisting, and since he plays a teacher in this movie, I had a feeling I might see a little bit of myself somehow in a movie bereft of real-world credibility. Add Salma Hayek as a love interest and I only needed a slight nudge toward the box office even though I hate, hate, hate mixed martial arts, the film’s central sport.
James is Scott Voss, a once-adored biology teacher who, after more than ten years on the job, has lost some of the excitement and creativity that long ago won him a Teacher of the Year award. When his principal announces that there is a huge budget shortfall and that all extracurricular activities will be cut the following school year, Scott comes to life and insists that something must be done. When he learns that losers in big-time, televised MMA fights make ten thousand dollars, he decides to raise the needed $48,000 by putting himself in the octagon.
Hayek plays the school nurse who has resisted Scott’s advances for years but admires his determination to do something meaningful in a seemingly unwinnable situation. She plays pretty much the same role she plays in most of her recent films, a smart, sensible, unbelievably hot love interest with a soft spot for guys who stand up and do the right thing. Henry Winkler as the school’s orchestra director is the film’s big surprise (perhaps the film’s only surprise). His goofy, somewhat effeminate persona works better here than anywhere I’ve ever seen it, especially in scenes where he’s teaching his class. When student performers love their instructor, you can see it in the performances, and the love he pours into them as he’s conducting them is dead-on. You can see how Scott would be as visibly moved by watching them rehearse as he is, and James does some of his best acting in these scenes, too.
Everything in this movie is eye-rolling in its obviousness, and I mean that in the worst way because the stuff that happens is only predictable because it ALWAYS happens in movies like this even though it NEVER happens like this in real life. How many more times must we be subjected to the student who has difficulty learning until someone writes the material as a song lyric? How many times will we see a dead-inside middle-aged character suddenly brought to life when given the chance to try a new career at something that has always been just a hobby? How many times will the strict Asian parent pull his child out of silly extracurricular activities and then change his mind when he sees how talented she really is? Believe me when I say I’m only scratching the cliched surface of an enormous crystal ball of predictability.
And yet. There’s enough here to make me like it despite its massive suckage. When I think about what James, Hayek, and Winkler could have done with these same characters in a much smarter script, it makes me sad. It’s an awful movie with three strong performances and a couple (literally a couple!) of really good scenes.
5/100 (IMDb rating)
49/100 (Criticker rating)
Kevin James, Henry Winkler, Salma Hayek
There are some big reasons not to see Here Comes the Boom: A ridiculous premise, a trailer filled with stuff that would never happen in real life, projectile vomiting, and what must be a record for predictability in a sports movie. But I saw it anyway because I like Kevin James as a comedic actor. James has an earnest, hard-working likability I have difficulty resisting, and since he plays a teacher in this movie, I had a feeling I might see a little bit of myself somehow in a movie bereft of real-world credibility. Add Salma Hayek as a love interest and I only needed a slight nudge toward the box office even though I hate, hate, hate mixed martial arts, the film’s central sport.
James is Scott Voss, a once-adored biology teacher who, after more than ten years on the job, has lost some of the excitement and creativity that long ago won him a Teacher of the Year award. When his principal announces that there is a huge budget shortfall and that all extracurricular activities will be cut the following school year, Scott comes to life and insists that something must be done. When he learns that losers in big-time, televised MMA fights make ten thousand dollars, he decides to raise the needed $48,000 by putting himself in the octagon.
Hayek plays the school nurse who has resisted Scott’s advances for years but admires his determination to do something meaningful in a seemingly unwinnable situation. She plays pretty much the same role she plays in most of her recent films, a smart, sensible, unbelievably hot love interest with a soft spot for guys who stand up and do the right thing. Henry Winkler as the school’s orchestra director is the film’s big surprise (perhaps the film’s only surprise). His goofy, somewhat effeminate persona works better here than anywhere I’ve ever seen it, especially in scenes where he’s teaching his class. When student performers love their instructor, you can see it in the performances, and the love he pours into them as he’s conducting them is dead-on. You can see how Scott would be as visibly moved by watching them rehearse as he is, and James does some of his best acting in these scenes, too.
Everything in this movie is eye-rolling in its obviousness, and I mean that in the worst way because the stuff that happens is only predictable because it ALWAYS happens in movies like this even though it NEVER happens like this in real life. How many more times must we be subjected to the student who has difficulty learning until someone writes the material as a song lyric? How many times will we see a dead-inside middle-aged character suddenly brought to life when given the chance to try a new career at something that has always been just a hobby? How many times will the strict Asian parent pull his child out of silly extracurricular activities and then change his mind when he sees how talented she really is? Believe me when I say I’m only scratching the cliched surface of an enormous crystal ball of predictability.
And yet. There’s enough here to make me like it despite its massive suckage. When I think about what James, Hayek, and Winkler could have done with these same characters in a much smarter script, it makes me sad. It’s an awful movie with three strong performances and a couple (literally a couple!) of really good scenes.
5/100 (IMDb rating)
49/100 (Criticker rating)
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