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A Cautionary Tale

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  • A Cautionary Tale

    My buddy's new roommate just moved back to the mainland.

    Total amount of time spent on Oahu - 3 weeks!!

    Her first few days here she wouldn't stop gushing about how much she loves Hawaii, how she's waited her whole life to move here, since her first visit, she knew that she had to be here, she's so happy to be "finally home", loves her new job, can't wait to go snorkeling, everything's sooo beautiful, was 'meant to be here', love the aloha...blah, blah, blah.

    She got a job immediately, and arranged with my buddy to pay her share of the rent once she gets her first paycheck. She got an 808 cellphone. Bought stuff like shorts and hats and water shoes.

    By the end of her first full week here, the complaining started, and it never stopped.

    "Its so hot I can't sleep at night. The sand on North Shore hurts my feet. I hate the Bus. I don't like wearing a swimsuit. I got a blister. A chicken woke me up from my nap. The heat at the beach makes me sick. We don't do things this way back in Colorado. Why do we have to walk so far...can't you just go get the car. I don't like the food here. I have a list of things I need to get but nobody will take me to the store (right now? you expect someone to take you to the store that's only a block away from you right now?). I don't want to walk to the bus stop (one block). I'm so far away from my (grown) son. Eww, I'm all sweaty. I can't find my bank here. Can someone take me home (once, she said this less than an hour after we got to a bbq, that took me an hour to drive us to!). How come my hair is all wavy since I got here? I don't like hanging out, especially with young people. The turtles look kinda small here. There's sand in the house. The water tastes funny here. I don't like the food. I hate the natural wood walls in the apartment, and the landlady said I can paint them cream. I saw an ant in the kitchen. I don't like taking off my shoes at home. I'm hot. I got red dirt on my shoes and now they're ruined. Why won't you take me to do this list of 10,000 things before you go surf? It's hooooooot. Waaaaaaaah."

    Her attitude got more unbearable every day. And she was being pretty rude and jerky to anyone who tried to help her. Rarely thanked me or my friends for anything, and we were always going out of our way to help her out and make her feel welcome.

    And so, for the finale, she mouthed off to her boss one too many times and got herself let go. She actually demanded that her boss pay for her return flight to CO! And he did!

    And she stiffed my buddy on the rent, too!

    To help out my buddy, I took her to the airport yesterday. Good riddance. But as a final insult, she yelled at me for not being there to get her on time. No thank yous, she just complained halfway to town, about how she was going to miss her flight, and have to spend more time here on this god forsaken island, thanks to me.

    She made her flight in plenty of time, and thankfully, now she's gone.

    Sooo, I just wanted to share this story with everyone. Often, we hear from potential newcomers here on HT, and they sometimes expect that we - total strangers- pat them on the back and give them a round of applause because they've decided to move here. Nobody's being mean by offering warnings to the newcomers, they just don't want to see you end up like this girl. She sold all her stuff and moved here, and now she passionately hates Hawaii, and has left.
    ~ This is the strangest life I've ever known ~

  • #2
    Re: A Cautionary Tale

    Wow, TG...just plain, ol'...WOW!!! I tend to refer to Hawaii as the 'land of instant karma'. No wonder she lasted only 3 weeks!

    I'm stunned that the very short term employer who canned her actually paid for her return airfare. OTOH...I think that speaks volumes about how badly employer wanted complainer gone...with as much real estate between employer and complainer as possible.


    • #3
      Re: A Cautionary Tale

      I enjoyed reading your story, TG

      She didn't experience an ounce of what you've gone through, and already she's running home to momma. Grant it, it's important to quickly find out what you don't want out of life and cut your losses, but it's a shame she was so rude to you and everyone else.

      I have a feeling she needed to blow things out of proportion to justify quitting so soon; both to herself and to the people back in CO. Stories of how horrible Hawaii is, to protect her ego.

      At least most of the ladies on HT are tough wahines
      "By concealing your desires, you may trick people into being cruel about the wrong thing." --Steven Aylett, Fain the Sorcerer
      "You gotta get me to the tall corn." --David Mamet, Spartan
      Amateurs talk technology, professionals talk conditions." --(unknown)


      • #4
        Re: A Cautionary Tale

        By any chance did this person signed up to HawaiiThreads, before, during or after their stay on Oahu?

        It would be interesting to know when (or what part of the year) this person first visited the state and did she visited Oahu first or some other island?

        It kind of seems that place she first visited is not the same place she ended up staying and just didn't realize that the state, small as it is, is quite varied, I think that is the mistake this person made.


        • #5
          Re: A Cautionary Tale

          Auwe! Some people get it, some people never do.

          I'm a happy hawaii import goin' on 34 years now. But when I go mainland, I probably whine a lot.

          What! No sticky rice?
          Where's the ocean?
          It's so Cooooold. Brrrr!
          You call this sashimi?
          How can you not know what a Manapua is!
          Ewwww, shoes on the carpet.
          Gawd, is that a snake!
          How come the weathercast doesn't have a surf report?
          You call that a beach? It may be where land touches water, but it ain't a beach!
          I said I was "Pau", how come you still nevah take my plate?
          MY McDonalds has Portuguese Sausage, what's wrong with this McDonalds?
          How can you not like Spam?
          How come there's no shoyu on the table?
          How come every fricken department store I go into, I have to go through 2 sets of doors?

          Got any of your own?
          Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine!


          • #6
            Re: A Cautionary Tale

            Originally posted by Slick View Post
            I'm a happy hawaii import goin' on 34 years now. But when I go mainland, I probably whine a lot.

            Got any of your own?
            Forgive me for pullng rank here but this is not the thread or the sub-forum for discussing things that you miss while out side the state of Hawaii. There is however another thread (recently created) that does discuss this so please use that thread.

            This thread is mainly about a person who missed things that was not available or didn't live up to expections while in the state of Hawaii.


            • #7
              Re: A Cautionary Tale

              Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
              I took her to the airport yesterday. Good riddance. But as a final insult, she yelled at me for not being there to get her on time. No thank yous, she just complained halfway to town, about how she was going to miss her flight, and have to spend more time here on this god forsaken island, thanks to me.
              A belated Mahalo, TG, for taking her to the airport. You did all of us a favor.

              malo'e lelei, matapule
              Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

              People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow


              • #8
                Re: A Cautionary Tale

                most of us can say, "lucky we live hawai'i."

                i dunno. it doesn't sound as though she would be happy any where she lived.
                "chaos reigns within.
                reflect, repent and reboot.
                order shall return."

                microsoft error message with haiku poetry


                • #9
                  Re: A Cautionary Tale

                  I do feel sad for that lady... she just doesn't know the important things in life.

                  I met up this morning with a visiting couple from the mainland to hike around Makapu'u. They're Geocachers and contacted me before coming.
                  We had fun! I enjoyed getting to know them and sharing our day together.

                  I of course I shared my love for Hawai'i and gave them real life differences in the way we live compared to their lifestyles. Like (Most of us) having smaller living spaces, less toys, etc. for negatives. And then how we (Most of us) play outside on our days off, don't have snow, share more, etc. for positives.

                  They both agreed that they weren't willing to give up what they have now in exchange. Smart people, because they know what's important to them.

                  Many times if we don't know what we really care about...
                  we just find fault in everything.

                  "Thank you TG for all you tried to do in showing ALOHA!"
                  Last edited by Menehune Man; October 10, 2008, 05:41 PM. Reason: ADDED AT THE END
                  Life is either an adventure... or you're not doing it right!!!


                  • #10
                    Re: A Cautionary Tale

                    I get the feeling that she's the kind of person that would complain anywhere, even back in her own original home. I have learned to get away from people like that, if possible. Life's too short to deal with that continually, and I'd rather be with the upbeat types.

                    I have a friend who is like that--fortunately, I don't see her or talk to her very often. I think she has some good qualities, but she does complain a lot. I try to lend an ear...and then do something fun after talking to her, to take away the "bad taste"!!!! Ha!

                    I also have an aunt who does nothing but gripe, bitch and complain about EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY. No one measures up to her standards. However, she is 81, in poor health, and lives alone, so I try to put up with that, too.

                    I know that I DO NOT want to be that way in another 30 years or so! Or even now!! And, boy oh boy, would I love to "complain" that there's sand in the house, or it's so warm at night......ahh, Hawaii......


                    • #11
                      Re: A Cautionary Tale

                      I love sand in my car. Sand in my shorts, shoes, hair, crack, .... I even love it when I pay for beer with a sandy, wet $10 bill, that was in the velcro pocket of my trunks. And I love to be buried in the sand by my daughter and her friends.

                      I love being hot. In the snow, you have about 3 hours to figure out life. In the heat, you got 3 days before it gets real uncomfortable.

                      Tako Poke, Korean Style.....Ahi sashimi with mad hot wasabi.....char siu manapua, with a Nestle Quick......Long Rice, Lomi Salmon, Lau Lau, Smoke Meat, Smoke Fish, Huli Chicken, 2 scoop rice, 2 scoop potatomac, Li Hing Mui Margaritas, and a partridge in a pear tree.

                      And now for the ocean. I betcha the girl don't swim, surf, sail, scuba dive, fish, or enjoy the ocean. And that's why many of us are here.
                      Energy answers are already here.


                      • #12
                        Re: A Cautionary Tale

                        That reminds me;

                        “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere. Everything here is soft ... and smooth ...”


                        • #13
                          Re: A Cautionary Tale

                          That was one habut girl.


                          • #14
                            Re: A Cautionary Tale

                            I think people need to be realistic about how much time it takes to adjust. If you move to a place that's like what you're used to, it won't take as long to adjust. The more different, the more time it'll take to adapt. I can remember moving to Salt Lake City and thinking the drivers were so damn aggressive, but after a while you learn to drive the same way. Kansas City seemed kinda rough and run-down at first. Later it felt like character, big and old and comfortable with lots of interesting nooks and crannies (and fireflies). In Astoria, Oregon I thought 'What? These people never heard of paint?', but after a while I figured out how rain affected things and why it didn't make sense to paint something just because of various stains and watermarks. After a while, it was totally outside of my awareness. I have a love of that place a mile deep. People can be like that too. Things about them that are hard to understand become known territory. You get to know their psychological weather. First impressions may have a big impact, but they don't always tell the whole story.

                            I was in the bedroom of my apartment a couple days ago, thinking 'This is my bedroom'. Like, not just a room with a bunch of my stuff in it that I sleep in, but 'This is my familiar space'. I'm developing more of a relationship with the dogs in my yard and now there's a fat, little puppy that is cool beyond description. I know my way around and I have some favorite places. I like my housemates and workmates, a collection of great personalities.

                            All of that takes time and there's nothing in the world that can make it materialize over-night. You don't learn to play a musical instrument in one sitting. Completing one semester of grad school taught me I could complete one semester. All I had to do was repeat it seven more times. Giving up because it was hard would have been the easiest thing in the world.

                            I sit outside at night and sometimes in the distance a jet will come in from over the Pacific. I think about how some of the people on it are coming for vacation. I think I'll go snorkeling tomorrow and add a little more sand to the floorboard of my car.


                            • #15
                              Re: A Cautionary Tale

                              Originally posted by kani-lehua View Post
                              most of us can say, "lucky we live hawai'i."

                              i dunno. it doesn't sound as though she would be happy any where she lived.
                              That's what I was thinking, too.

                              I worked with someone like that for a few years. She came from elsewhere. Was always whining and trying to take advantage of everything and everyone around her.

                              Very thoughtless. An intern, hearing her chronic rants, suggested she should just leave. Eventually she pretty much burned up her professional career here and elsewhere -- her reputation got quite far on the grapevine. And she ended up going back to her home town to sell real estate. Wonder how far a salesperson can get with such a bad attitude.