To Spank Or Not To Spank?

[sinjin]

Re: my latest effort

Hmmm..I sure like to meet you and see how'd you like how my Whack! Whacks! feel.

Auntie Lynn

btw: I Don't believe in Spanking in Children!

I promise to give you that chance some day Auntie.

Spanking may not be necessary for all kids but below a certain age there's no reasoning with them. My son is very strong willed and defiant. If I don't get a handle on him now, God help me later. Time outs seem to have little lasting value. Swats hardly any better.

P.S. Know that I used to go to clubs that served up floggings as part of audience participation in the entertainment. Nails aren't nearly as hard as I am.

[Glen Miyashiro]

Re: my latest effort

P.S. Know that I used to go to clubs that served up floggings as part of audience participation in the entertainment.

Heh heh. I know a place here in Honolulu that does that, too.

[MadAzza]

Re: Anyone remember Mr. Kuwada?

Oh, you had to bring this up. Now TimKona is going to barge in and demand public beatings for delinquent elementary students!

Not that I'd necessarily disagree with that ...

[sinjin]

Re: my latest effort

Heh heh. I know a place here in Honolulu that does that, too.

That's good to know. I imagine there's some interest in shibari/kinbaku in Hawaii as well.

[Da Rolling Eye]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Republican. Spank. Only one on the butt or back of the upper leg and not just any ol time I feel like it. In restaurants.....da magic pinch. Mel can get pretty rambunctious and nothing short of raising my voice at her will get her attention. When she acts up in public places, raising my voice isn't an option. A well placed tweak on her derriere usually gets her attention right quick and she'll stop what she's doing so we can talk to her. After that, I just have to raise my hand making a pinching motion with my thumb and indes finger.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

My husband and I made a decision a long time ago to give up spanking. Instead we have committed ourselves to raising intelligent children, empowered and responsible for their own behavior and the consequences thereof, and I am quite pleased at not only how they have lived up to their obligations, but how much harder my husband and I have had to work at *our* parenting to be present and conscientious of our words and deeds. Our evolution of our parenting had much to do with my husband and his martial arts training; the higher up in belts he went, the more strongly he believed that striking our children, even with the most noble intentions, was wrong for our family.

Don't get me wrong: my kids' folks are NOT wimps. But we fundamentally believe that if you keep high standards, kids will break their own necks to live up to them as best as possible. If you raise them by showing them that anger gets the best of you and you resort to bullying those you love, they will mimic that behavior. Call kids "stupid" all their lives, and by golly we will be talking about those stupid adults when they grow up.

In our case, my kids' mother is a tita. I have often joked that "I won't spank you when you are young and innocent. That energy will be saved for the day that you come at me as an insolent teenager. Helllooooo smackdown". Mahalo ke Akua: with a couple of teenagers already in the home, I am quite pleased at their abilities to troubleshoot and resolve. Fight--but resolve. And fight only when necessary. And like my husband is fond of saying "fight until you forgive". (took me years to understand what the heck that meant).

My children are all strong-willed individuals. But they are thoughtful and respectful, and have their own moral codes of which I am so very proud.

[1stwahine]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Pua'i Mana'o, BRAVO!!! You made my DAY!

Dances around my computa. Wait. Dis not my BLOG!

Dances around my computa with clothes on!!!!!

BRAVO!!!!!!!!

Auntie Lynn

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Mahalo Auntie

Unfortunately, discussions on spanking can become quite contentious, because nobody intends to be a bad™ parent. We took flak from well-intentioned relatives when we made these decisions. And the kids didn't grow up as perfect, manicured and well-behaved...I mean, c'mon. Kids are kids. But each and every time we had a situation arise, then it was up to us to parent them, and we didn't spare the rod. A good shepard does not use his rod as a weapon to beat the flock. It is a tool to guide them. If we had to "stop, drop and roll", then we did it. No social constructs of "time out, kiddo!". Nope; we hashed whatever needed to right then and there. Get it out, own up to it, and resolve it. No insulting. No p/a behavior. No extraneous bull.

Sometimes it was harder. Tempers flare. Injustices are done, feelings get hurt, stewing takes time. As much as possible, we must be aware of our actions and each potential repurcussion. And own it. Be responsible for it. That is the stuff that develops one's morals. Our ethics is the cumulative of our behavior, but our morals--our beliefs and intentions--is the stuff of that old Greek saying, "our character becomes our fate".

(btw: I didn't always think like this; it took time and being married to a big Hawaiian bradda, who was military, and has been influenced by martial arts for years).

[MadAzza]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

I never believed in that Dr. Spock mentality of sparing the rod and spoiling the child. His advice spawned an entire generation of 20-something year olds who feel they are the only generation that has experienced suffering (hmmm maybe spanking would have really given them something to suffer about).

There seems to be a misunderstanding here. The phrase "Spare the rod and spoil the child" means "If you spare the rod, you will spoil your child."

It does not mean you should spare the rod, and spoil the child. It means that you should whack the kid, or he will be a spoiled brat.

Dr. Spock did not believe in "spare the rod, spoil the child." He believed in spoiling the child.

[MadAzza]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Whose parents didnt spank their kids?

Mine. We certainly never deserved it, either.

Whoops! I thought these posts were from May, not March.

Sorry to drag up old stuff!

[CranBeree]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

when i was a kid, my mom use to give us whacks...5 min late? after 6 pm curfew..whack with the leather belt..broke something, gave her a hard time etc out came the belt..i think the most extreme was i forget what i did but she made me kneel down in salt in front of an altar and ask forgiveness for my sin..um i think i was only 6..LOL but i came out okay i think, but as for me and my husband as parents we don't believe in spanking..gosh there are some days that warrant it mind you, but i gotta say my kids are well behaved for the most part...oh and that evil eye thing really really works!

[timkona]

Re: Anyone remember Mr. Kuwada?

madazza - Oh, you had to bring this up. Now TimKona is going to barge in and demand public beatings for delinquent elementary students!

Seems to me student performance is inversely proportional to the paddlings in school, when judged over the course of time. No doubt that this trend can be traced directly to liberalism, and their efforts at emasculating teachers to promote academic mediocrity, and fairness, at the expense of the brightest and most able students.

I've read that Hawaii was the most literate society around back at the turn of the century. I wonder what happened. Nowadays, students who do well in school are villified by some, especially their ignorant peers. Judging by school performances on tests, one could logically conclude that the idiots are quickly becoming the majority.

Was it the cover of some national magazine that blared a 30% dropout rate headline?? Not my kid.

[kaneohegirl]

Re: Anyone remember Mr. Kuwada?

Seems to me student performance is inversely proportional to the paddlings in school, when judged over the course of time.

bring back the paddlings.... worked wen we was kids!

[craigwatanabe]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

Yeah there was a time when students were afraid of teachers...now it's the other way around. Something went wrong somewhere between the 80's when corpral punishment ended and now.

Oh that's right...it's when students learned about the ACLU.

[sinjin]

Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank?

I didn't always think like this; it took time and being married to a big Hawaiian bradda, who was military, and has been influenced by martial arts for years.

As usual your position seems well considered and worthy of respect. My only question would be how old was your youngest when you chose to no longer spank or were none of your children ever spanked?