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Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

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  • Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

    Although in real life I employ haoles, have haole clients and business associates, I readily confide in you that I have a problem with haoles, and I keep this confidential. Why is this so bad I ask? I don't hurt anyone, instead it is I who has been traumatized from a former lifetime of racism by haoles. I have been through countless hours of therapy with, believe it or not, a very sympathetic, haole therapist. I have "let go" of a lot of anger and bitterness....but not all.

    I am not looking for a confrontation. Can't I get a little compassion from some people for my honesty ? Please try and put yourself in my position. That's all.

    Peace.

  • #2
    Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

    Originally posted by kahalabrah
    Although in real life I employ haoles, have haole clients and business associates, I readily confide in you that I have a problem with haoles, and I keep this confidential. Why is this so bad I ask? I don't hurt anyone, instead it is I who has been traumatized from a former lifetime of racism by haoles. I have been through countless hours of therapy with, believe it or not, a very sympathetic, haole therapist. I have "let go" of a lot of anger and bitterness....but not all.

    I am not looking for a confrontation. Can't I get a little compassion from some people for my honesty ? Please try and put yourself in my position. That's all.

    Peace.
    Kahalabrah, I give you props for being honest, and I sympathize with your obvious pain and anger. But I really can't say I feel the same.

    And as for your subject line, why yes: you are the only one to admit that you have a problem with haoles, because you're the only one who has a problem with haoles.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

      Originally posted by Glen Miyashiro
      Kahalabrah, I give you props for being honest, and I sympathize with your obvious pain and anger. But I really can't say I feel the same.

      And as for your subject line, why yes: you are the only one to admit that you have a problem with haoles, because you're the only one who has a problem with haoles.

      glen
      thank you for your non-confrontational comments. but please don't speak for everyone else. how do you know that noone else has a problem with haoles? you know this is not true.
      k

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

        I'm no therapist, and I can see how experiences such as you describe would lead to such lifelong difficulties, but what I think you have to understand is that it wasn't haoles who mistreated you. It was ignorant people.

        I've got a problem with that kind of ignorance, too, so you're at least as well-adjusted as I am ('though some might say that's not saying much). Kahalabrah, you didn't get mistreated because you were Asian, either. You were mistreated because other people around you were idiots. Idiots are not worth the time, energy, stress, or grief you seem to be spending on them. Do you not see that by having a problem with this group of people called "haoles," you are committing the same kind of mistreatment certain others have brought upon you?

        You asked for compassion and not confrontation, and that's what I hope I'm giving you. Once you do the haoles who caused you problems the honor of seeing them as individuals, suddenly it's not haoles who caused you problems, but Sam, Steve, Daphne, Amy, and Crystal. And once you do the people around you the same honor, what have you to be upset about? You've acknowledged that the people around you haven't treated you poorly. You're lucky. And so are they, because they get the benefit of knowing you, the singular you and not the collective "you Asians." And ultimately, isn't that what you've wanted all along -- Not to be treated as a member of an alienated group, but to be Kahalabrah (I'd use your real name here, but I don't know it)?

        I'm not saying to turn off the bad feelings. Go ahead and swim around in them, but realize it was Sam, Steve, Daphne, Amy, and Crystal who did those things to you, and they're not here.

        I'm haole, and I'm not mistreating you. So if you still want to group people together based on their ethnicities like this, go ahead and cancel out one bad haole for this one good one. Ultimately, the balance will swing in favor of the good ones, and if everything else I've suggested doesn't work, how's that for a solution?
        But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
        GrouchyTeacher.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

          Well, I married a haole. So except for the times she puts empty food containers back in the fridge, I can definitely state that I have no problem with people of the Caucasian persuasion.

          People who act "haole," who bring their models of culture and class to another place and expect things to be just so, are another matter entirely.

          Seriously, Kahalabrah, take a step back and look at what's happening here. You've now been behind a multitude of separate threads, all with the same basic theme:


          And that is, Haoles In Hawaii Are Evil(tm). And so far, not a single person here, local or on the Mainland, Asian or haole, crazy or moderately sane, has found much merit to your assertions about The Way Things Are.

          I honestly, truly think you might want to consider that you might be projecting your own personal biases and frustrations and likely genuine pain on the rest of us. And that's unfair to Hawaii, and to you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

            Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with racist trolls?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

              Originally posted by scrivener
              I'm no therapist, and I can see how experiences such as you describe would lead to such lifelong difficulties, but what I think you have to understand is that it wasn't haoles who mistreated you. It was ignorant people.
              thank you for your extremely kind words scrivener. i am surprised to learn that you are haole since you have posted a photo of an asian man on your profile (?) it has been a little misleading since all this time i thought i was responding to a sympathetic asian man instead of a symptathetic haole.

              in any case, your touching response is much appreciated. and that's all i am doing here is revisiting my former life from time-to-time. it makes me appreciate all i have here with my new life in hawaii. we all have demons right? all i can say is that on the mainland, most haoles are mean-spirited and racist toward asians and minorities. and i repeat.....most....not all haoles....heck, i dated mostly haole girls, they can't all be bad!

              i don't mean to offend any haoles here. i am just relating my life's experience with haoles. hell, i've even made friends with kamaaina haoles in hawaii who don't like mainland haoles and validate my feelings!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                Originally posted by pzarquon
                Seriously, Kahalabrah, take a step back and look at what's happening here. You've now been behind a multitude of separate threads, all with the same basic theme:


                And that is, Haoles In Hawaii Are Evil(tm). And so far, not a single person here, local or on the Mainland, Asian or haole, crazy or moderately sane, has found much merit to your assertions about The Way Things Are.
                no pzarquan
                i have never said "haoles in hawaii are evil." and surely you can't confirm that nono haoles are evil?!? i maintain, once again, that most haoles on the mainland are mean-spirited and racist. i stand by my words. i have lived through it. what don't you understand about this?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                  Being a older third generation Japanese I have problems with individuals but not with their ethnicity. As an example when I was living in the Los Angales area in the mid 60's I had a lot of problems with some individuals from Gardena, who happened to be Japanese born and raised there. So for me it's the individual plain and simple
                  Good luck on your journey Kahalabrah.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                    Originally posted by kahalabrah
                    i am surprised to learn that you are haole since you have posted a photo of an asian man on your profile (?) it has been a little misleading since all this time i thought i was responding to a sympathetic asian man instead of a symptathetic haole.
                    "I was misled!"
                    "You MADE me think a falsity!"


                    once again, kahala bra is a victim, an oppressed hurt target and recipient of the evil of those thoughtless many who want to do nothing more than spent their time inflicting pain and injustice directly at him.
                    Last edited by kimo55; September 11, 2005, 07:31 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                      Originally posted by D'Alani
                      Being a older third generation Japanese I have problems with individuals but not with their ethnicity. As an example when I was living in the Los Angales area in the mid 60's I had a lot of problems with some individuals from Gardena, who happened to be Japanese born and raised there. So for me it's the individual plain and simple
                      Good luck on your journey Kahalabrah.

                      okay d'alani.
                      you are fortunate enough not to harbor the anger that stews within me. you are fortunate not to have had countless confrontations with mainland whites who judged ME solely because of my ethnicity. wouldn't this f*** with your head after a while, especially if you had to endure this racism as a little boy through adulthood? my haole shrink certainly empathized with me, why can't you, a fellow asian?
                      k

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                        Sympathetic Asian man: Check.
                        Sympathetic Caucasian man: Check.

                        You got both in one reply. Haole isn't the color of my skin, Kahalabrah. It's half of my ethnic ancestry.
                        But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
                        GrouchyTeacher.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                          Originally posted by scrivener
                          Sympathetic Asian man: Check.
                          Sympathetic Caucasian man: Check.

                          You got both in one reply. Haole isn't the color of my skin, Kahalabrah. It's half of my ethnic ancestry.

                          thank you my friend...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Am I the only one to admit that I have a problem with haoles?

                            Originally posted by kahalabrah
                            Although in real life I employ haoles, have haole clients and business associates, I readily confide in you that I have a problem with haoles, and I keep this confidential.
                            Like Scriv, I'm half Haole and half Asian/Pacific Islander. I'm also Native Hawaiian.

                            And I readily confide in you that I have a problem with racists. And Kahalabrah, you sure do appear to be racist to me.

                            That's based on your posts, of course. You'd probably put on a front with me in person, since I'd probably look "too" Haole for you to carry on an open and honest conversation.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              mainland haole stereotype

                              .
                              kahalabrah: " i've even made friends with kamaaina haoles in hawaii who don't like mainland haoles and validate my feelings!!!"

                              In a general way that is true for me also. There is definitely a stereotype that has been, is well earned and deserved by ("white" men and women) haole from the U.S. mainland that is distinct to such haole. Not all those haole fit the stereotype but I agree that the majority do. That is not to say that I am prejudiced to the point of not keeping open the window of opportunity for such haole to prove that he, she or they is not of that stereotype; but the vast majority of the time the individual haole inadvertently reveals his or her capacity to be open minded or not with regard to the indigenous culture of these islands; to historical acts and inactions and their consequences in these islands; to the U.S. responsibility for redress of U.S. injustice in these islands.
                              Last edited by waioli kai; September 11, 2005, 08:22 PM.

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