No one in my family can now be trusted

[Serenity]

Re: No one in my family can now be trusted

Things has gotten from bad to worse in my life.

My friend who lives with us just got $109 stolen from his wallet between yesterday afternoon and a few minutes ago.

So far, me and my Mom are suspecting my 15 year old brother, 10 year old sister, and 12 year old female cousin. We've given them until tomorrow to anonymously give back the items (our camera and the $300 total cash taken), after that, I'll try and call a police friend to help.

But until the item is found, I shut off the internet to every computer, and will be either find some other way to fish the info out from them, or reformat their computers.

This is getting out of hand, and my Mom could lose her business because of this. They don't even help out, and we're getting this crap from them.

(If anyone want to come over and help, then PM me. I just can't take this anymore)

If those kids stole it,I hope they fess up soon, other wise, they could be in deep trouble. I am sorry that you are going through this. Since you start loosing $$$ & stuff like that, the only option is to just have locks on the bedroom door(s), so that your sister,brother, & cousin can't get into things like that, & you wont be loosing anything next time. I am sorry if that does has to come to that. If that happens to me, I would either get locks for my bedroom doors, or start locking up stuff that I wouldn't want to get stolen. I do hope that it does get found soon, or your bro.,sis.,& cousin fess up, if they did stole it. If you suspect that they did it, should explain the consequnces to them when people steal & don't return stuff back. Maybe that will open their eyes to see & understand. Either way, I hope that the money turns up along with the other stuff that was also lost or stolen. Well, good luck with everything else!. Hope that your situation gets solved one way or another.

Aloha.

[Serenity]

Re: No one in my family can now be trusted

EDIT: I FOUND THE CAMERA!!

It was hidden behind some CDs above our stereo. I saw it after looking through the side of the bookcase. Now, if I can lose something else, then maybe we can find the money.

Dang!.That was weird!. I thought you said that you gave it your mom to take it to the beach. (then she accused you of loosing it). So, how could it have moved "behind some CDs above your stereo"?.

I'm sure & I bet she feels really bad now, that she accused you of something you didn't do!. See, I knew it!. She was in the wrong to begin with!. She had no right to be yelling at you & accusing you of such thing when you didn't loose it!. I just knew it!.

[adrian]

No one in my family can now be trusted

Things has gotten from bad to worse in my life.

My friend who lives with us just got $109 stolen from his wallet between yesterday afternoon and a few minutes ago.

So far, me and my Mom are suspecting my 15 year old brother, 10 year old sister, and 12 year old female cousin. We've given them until tomorrow to anonymously give back the items (our camera and the $300 total cash taken), after that, I'll try and call a police friend to help.

But until the item is found, I shut off the internet to every computer, and will be either find some other way to fish the info out from them, or reformat their computers.

This is getting out of hand, and my Mom could lose her business because of this. They don't even help out, and we're getting this crap from them.

(If anyone want to come over and help, then PM me. I just can't take this anymore)

EDIT: I FOUND THE CAMERA!!

It was hidden behind some CDs above our stereo. I saw it after looking through the side of the bookcase. Now, if I can lose something else, then maybe we can find the money.

[Miulang]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

Didn't I also read that you're back in school again? I hope you can get through the math this time and can get back into good standing at school. Someday, when you're in your 30s, you'll look back at all the "trauma" you've been through and kinda smile to yourself and say, "You know, all the bad things that happened in the past have made me the better person than I am today."

Trust me. Everybody goes through the same angst to some degree or other when they're in their young adulthood. By the time you get makule, you wonder how you could have gotten into all that trouble and still managed to survive!

Miulang

[Serenity]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

Hey, have been thinking about ya.
Hope everything turned out ok with you & your mom.

Just remember, she is just a woman (after all),
& certain times, all us women go through
the same things in our systems.

Seriously, hope everything turned out ok.
Aloha.

[alohabear]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

If u no need your mommy fo' live be one man and move out.

[scrivener]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

...i moved away from home in my early twenties, and missed my family so much that i gave up being touring musician on the mainland to come back home...not that i'd consider moving back in with the folks again

I, too, moved out at twenty or twenty-one and haven't looked back. In fact, moving out was the best thing for my relationship with my family. I love it to death, but I get along better with it when I'm not living in the same space.

If it is pride and independence that is driving you to want to break away, just remember that your strong sense of self probably had its roots way back in the days when your mother was your whole world.

Wow. That was very well-put.

Adrian, I have friends who spent the first few of their career years living at home. They all own their own condos and houses now, while I, who have been paying rent all these years, am no closer to owning a home than I ever was before.

Do I regret it? Sometimes. It would be nice to have a place to call mine. And it sucks to live totally on the edge, making just enough to afford one crisis at a time. It seems that as soon as I pay off one catastrophe (say, an auto repair), a new one comes along (dental surgery). Plus, I'm still paying back my college loans. On the other hand, the independence I've enjoyed is something I don't think I would trade for anything. My first response to your original post was "suck it up," like the others here, but now I say, hey, if you think you're ready to give it a go, God bless you and give it all you got.

[jdub]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

i might suggest that a quick perousal of the classifieds for rentals might provide some insight into why you're lucky to be living at home with yer ma...i moved away from home in my early twenties, and missed my family so much that i gave up being touring musician on the mainland to come back home...not that i'd consider moving back in with the folks again

[cezanne]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

Hey if you think you can handle it on your own on the outside then more power to you. If I was your mom and you told me that, along with bringing up all the other stuff, I'd be telling you not to let the door hit you on the way out. For real.

I agree, just suck it up dude.

[pzarquon]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

Not to mention be tried as an adult, and put to death as an adult. All 21 gets you is a beer. Age ain't nothin' but a number, sure, but as far as arbitrary cutoffs go, 18 is the one we're stuck with.

At 19, Adri is an adult. But as he remains part of his mother's household, he still has some obligations (and benefits) as a son, if not a kid.

[Palolo Joe]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

And you're not legally an adult until you're 21.

Huh? You can vote and serve in the military when you're 18. I'd say that makes you an adult.

[poi cocktail :)]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

re: moms - I stay here alone but will go see grandma, at the temple. last time I saw her was when I ran away from the house and I never got a chance to say goodbye from there, so my only solace is in my thoughts now. there's only a short time left with my mom too now so trying not to waste it. living at home can be difficult but keep things in perspective. some day you'll be head of the household and maybe w/your own family too. might even want mom to move in!

[pzarquon]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

Being blamed for misplacing something you didn't has got to suck, and I hope you can have a constructive conversation about that when things cool down. But as far as frustration and anger, I'll have to agree that a bit of perspective might be needed here. "As long as you're living under this roof..." is a cliched speech, but it's rooted in truth. And if, presumably, she's paying for the internet connection, for example, she can do as she pleases. The key is to help her see that cutting it off isn't constructive, or needlessly punative.

Unless, I suppose, she not trying to punish, but rather just wants to recoup some money to pay for a new camera!

If you want to move out, move out. It sure as hell was a wake up call for me. I didn't even do it out of frustration, my mom was all for it, but the reality of life still smacked me around a bit. Imagine how hard that transition might be without the support and understanding of your mom?

This weekend is Mother's Day, and it's a time to take a deep breath, take a step back, and see all the opportunities and lessons your mother's provided. Even when you battle, you as a young adult grow, and as much as you may resent her at times, she probably had the biggest part of making you who you are. If it is pride and independence that is driving you to want to break away, just remember that your strong sense of self probably had its roots way back in the days when your mother was your whole world.

[1stwahine]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

If you decide to go out, you'll get a taste of the real word. It's no comfort zone. This Sunday, is MOTHER'S DAY, appreciate her and thank GOD you still have a mother. A homemade card, flowers or breakfast in bed made by you will turn her anger off. I guarantee it.

Note to Miulang and Serenity, I got the message between your advices to him. T hanks, too.

[Serenity]

Re: I'm this close to moving out

WOW!. Adri....
I hope she comes down!. Getting P.O.ed @ U is not good!.
It just a camera, even if it is worth $300.00. Being mad & blaming at a loved one,is not worh the effort of fighting over it. She needs to trust you & understand that you did fix her comp. for her!. She is just soo angry right now that all she sees is: RED Like this one: .
I hope she calms down enough to apologize to you. She is definately in the wrong. You did give back her camera, & now the responsibilty is back on her & not on you!. All I can say to that is: If worse does comes to worse & she doesn't calm down & does not continue to change her attitude(s) towards you, then maybe moving out is the next best thing. I just hope that you really don't have to to do it, unless it is necessary for you to do so.
I hope your mom apologizes to you soon. She really does need you, but when she gets so angry I think she doesn't seem to think straight, & all she wants to do is get angry, & that's all. Perhaps the best move right now when she does get angry, is just get out of the house until she calms down. That way, you are not forced into any confrontation. Just tell her that you are going out until she decides to calm down, then when she is calm, you can decided then, to come back or not to discuss the issue at hand. Hope that helps.
Aloha.