Worried about son's grades at school this year!

[CranBeree]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

[QUOTE=
are you truly aware of the public school school system in Hawaii?[/QUOTE]


If you were concerned about other people teaching you child different values other than your own and also concerned with education, why not opt for the possiblity of home school? and why only the concern now as he is entering 3rd grade? those type of things can be assesed at kindergarten level or een at the first grade.

i do agree with timkona about part of the problem lies within the home, look at the kids that have parent involvement with the children's school and with their children. those kids test better and do better at school.

[Beachboy]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

I have an elementary-age son, too, and would advise the following:

1. Read to him every day for at least 30 minutes. Have him read to you if he will. Go to the library at least once a week. Borrow audiobooks for him to listen to. Seek advice from the librarian on good books for your son.

2. Don't let him know that you think he writes "chicken scratch" or that he's a "slow learner". Those labels don't motivate kids.

3. Regarding his handwriting, take a look at this article. It might be helpful for you.

4. Regarding his "slow learning", I would talk to the principal about it immediately (I think your school year has already begun, right?). Do not delay it! The school can perform an assessment for a learning disability. Also, as Miulang stated, it could simply be a matter of him maturing later than his peers.

He's very fortunate to have a loving parent! Good luck with him during this new school year.

I wanna thank you for your kind word & advice. Actually last year he was evaluated by the school. His teacher was concerned, and thought the testing would give us all a better idea where my boy stands. So the school is aware of his learning problems. I just hope the light turns on sooner than later?

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

There are numerous subsidy programs out there to help with Pre-K tuition fees. One of them is Child+, another for more rural families is Headstart.

Child+ will grant up to $450 per month tuition assistance for most Pre-K programs.

Regarding the initial concerns of backfiring. Here's one fact you may want to consider when assessing your child's cognative abilities and motor skills (hand writing). 90% of what you learn...you learn by age 5. So if you're on top of your kid's neurological development then congratulations. If not then there can be problems later on.

Right now at age 7 and in the third grade, I wouldn't be overly concerned just yet. Yes your boy is nearing that point in his age (age 8) where it becomes vital that basic skills are learned accurately but you have indicated that his math skills are...what...above average? If so then his brain has developed that part over his motor skills which is quite normal in early childhood development. Not all children will learn in a cookie-cutter way. Their brain development is quite varied over the period from birth to age 8 with the majority of it by age 5.

Stay on top of his aptitude skills concerning motor function but getting all futless about it will rub onto your child and can anxietize him to the point where he will be intimidated by the more academic nature of 4th grade.

In other words Beachboy...don't worry about it! Your child from what you're describing is developing in a different track than maybe his peers, however it's still too early to determine if there is any neurological disorder or if your decision back then backfired on you. Give him the benefit of this coming school year before making any assessments.

I'll almost bet that your child's motor functions will develop sometime later when the brain catches up to his body. It'll happen

And even if you didn't send your child to preschool, if you read to your child, that can be the single most effective tool in developing your child's brain. And if not that, just the simple things like pointing out things and repeating what they are to your child helps stimulate network generation of the brain's neurons.

Anything to help stimulate brain development thru neuron networking will make a child's brain more intuitive when it comes to learning skills. You were there instead of a teacher. Your interaction with him was the stimuli for him to develop that side of his brain that loves math. Thats a good thing.

I don't think it backfired on you. And that's coming from a preschool advocate too! Rest easy man...you did good.

[MadAzza]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

There are numerous subsidy programs out there to help with Pre-K tuition fees. One of them is Child+, another for more rural families is Headstart.

Child+ will grant up to $450 per month tuition assistance for most Pre-K programs.

Oh, so ... the people who can't afford to raise children have them anyway, and people like me who responsibly decide not to have children because we know it's a huge expense and responsibility end up paying, through our tax dollars, for those who can't afford to take care of their own children.

Great.That's America, folks! Your tax dollars at work.

I know I am going to get hate mail for this, but why should MY tax money go to raise other people's kids? Try to answer that question without falling back on the "it's for the greater good of society" bullshit answer. Why do people have children if they can't care for them without MY money? That goes double for day care. What a load of crap. "We really want kids. But after they're born, I'm going to go back to work and dump them off on strangers because my job at the photo-mart, or the attorney general's office, is more important than my precious child, who I will then spoil rotten out of guilt. You and the rest of society can deal with him later. Ta!"

Discuss.

And Beachboy, your kid is fine. Some kids are really "advanced" at a young age; some are not. People are quick to brag about how "advanced" their kids are at age 5, but they never come back when the kid is 22 and tell you about how he is ripping off cars for a living. It's meaningless. By the time they're in their twenties, it all evens out, and other characteristics matter -- morals, how hard they are willing to work, honesty and so forth. Please don't worry if your kid is "behind" his classmates. For God's sake, he's just a little kid! If you teach him good values and the joy of creating his own "self-esteem" through doing well for others, he'll be fine. I promise.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Oh, so ... the people who can't afford to raise children have them anyway, and people like me who responsibly decide not to have children because we know it's a huge expense and responsibility end up paying, through our tax dollars, for those who can't afford to take care of their own children.

Great.That's America, folks! Your tax dollars at work.

I know I am going to get hate mail for this, but why should MY tax money go to raise other people's kids? Try to answer that question without falling back on the "it's for the greater good of society" bullshit answer. Why do people have children if they can't care for them without MY money? That goes double for day care. What a load of crap. "We really want kids. But after they're born, I'm going to go back to work and dump them off on strangers because my job at the photo-mart, or the attorney general's office, is more important than my precious child, who I will then spoil rotten out of guilt. You and the rest of society can deal with him later. Ta!"

Discuss.

And Beachboy, your kid is fine. Some kids are really "advanced" at a young age; some are not. People are quick to brag about how "advanced" their kids are at age 5, but they never come back when the kid is 22 and tell you about how he is ripping off cars for a living. It's meaningless. By the time they're in their twenties, it all evens out, and other characteristics matter -- morals, how hard they are willing to work, honesty and so forth. Please don't worry if your kid is "behind" his classmates. For God's sake, he's just a little kid! If you teach him good values and the joy of creating his own "self-esteem" through doing well for others, he'll be fine. I promise.

What makes you think that you would be where you are today, telling the plebes to eat cake, if a whole bunch of people didn't subsidize you along the way, via your K-12 education, protect you from the real costs of a college tuition, enabling your family to have paved roads and freeways to drive you hither and yon to get ahead, have the farmers who grew your corn flakes recieve subsidies so that your folks didn't have to pay full price™ for your nutritious breakfast (in integral part of fired-up neurons) or any other of the multitudinous benefits that society™ reaps by making everybody pay for it somehow, sometimes, someway? It ain't hate mail to pick apart verisimilar arguments such as yours; it is the inane way in which such arguments are erroneously ascribed as "bullshit".

me and society dealing wit' it, pleez.

[damontucker]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Oh, so ... the people who can't afford to raise children have them anyway, and people like me who responsibly decide not to have children because we know it's a huge expense and responsibility end up paying, through our tax dollars, for those who can't afford to take care of their own children.

Very well said Maddie.

I hate seeing my tax dollars go to others ignorance. I have no problem paying my taxes...but when they are wasted, because people are thinking with their lower body parts instead of their brain...then yeah...it urks me...

Sex is a priviledge...not a right! abuse it and you pay the consequences!
When people use the "system" to pay for their own ignorance... then that is plain stupid.

A common quote heard when I first moved to Hawaii... "Have more babies... get more money from the government...etc." Sadly... I've heard it on more than one occassion.

[kaneohegirl]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

*amen*

In Southern California up that amount to $650 or more a month for ONE kid! It's really difficult and when you have to put two in at a time, it's nearly impossible. *sigh*

Oh heck what I was talkin about was for only part time like 9am-1pm.... full time stuff is even higher... ft care is about the same out here a month too... I should know I sit my nephew 4 days a week because the SIL cant afford it... of course she cant afford anything thats why I dont get any pay.... but heck thats family.... sometimes you get taken advantage of....

[Jonah K]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

I hate seeing my tax dollars go to others ignorance. I have no problem paying my taxes...but when they are wasted, because people are thinking with their lower body parts instead of their brain...then yeah...it urks me...

Same here. I'll refrain from commenting on the story about undocumented immigrants that ended up with 10 children because they "wanted a son."

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedi...1,789091.story

[sinjin]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

If anyone has any alternatives that wouldn't punish the children I'm all ears.

Verisimilar? Wow! I feel like an illiterate. Thanks Pua'i.

Btw when my wife just had to go back to her selfish career thing so that we could continue to eat we had to shell out $900 a month for a 14 mo. old full time.

[kaneohegirl]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

I am lucky that I do get to stay home and take care of my kids.... but it isnt because we can afford it it is because if I was to work over 80% of my pay would be used to pay for child careand afterschool care.... what is the benefit of that? we would rather live poorly than not see/raise our kids. when all are in school will be soon enough to go to work an earn more pay...

but fitting in a regular (3-4 hour) preschool routine.... take care of 3 kids (1 toddler, 1 infant, and a 4 yr old oh and the 10 yr old too) take care of all household tasks, meals, as well as all the regular things an excursions and shopping.... just is NOT possible I cant go in 5 different directions.

so we (the 4 yr old an I) try to work on some writing and he plays learning games on the computer and we read..... but not as much as if he were to go to preschool

a regular preschool should be funded by the regular school system....

I remember when I went to kindergarten Puuhale Elementary in Kalihi.... this is what we did... pretend play time, we learned colors, learned shapes, story time, song time, recess and luch was popular!... oh there was NAP time too (no one liked that), we played with beans to learn to count, and we learned to write our name.... SOUNDS LIKE PRESCHOOL TO ME!!!

now they want the kids to know all that stuff all ready.... well dang it if thats what they want then they should help make it to where all ppl are on the same footing

[Miulang]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

If anyone has any alternatives that wouldn't punish the children I'm all ears.

Verisimilar? Wow! I feel like an illiterate. Thanks Pua'i.

Btw when my wife just had to go back to her selfish career thing so that we could continue to eat we had to shell out $900 a month for a 14 mo. old full time.

Both my parents worked. They put me in preschool at age 3. Afterschool I went to grandma's. Grandma taught me how to bake cookies. My parents sat with me when I did my homework every evening when I was in elementary school. My Dad took me to the library and got me my own library card at age 5. My Dad read fairytales to me at bedtime every night until I was in the 1st grade. Bedtime was at 8 p.m., no excuses, until jr high school (then it got raised to 9 p.m.). We didn't have computers. Watching TV was a luxury.
Probably the best gift my parents ever gave me was the joy of reading. The joy of reading opened up my eyes to possibilities. I could visit places I probably would never see in person, exposed me to the thoughts of many philosophers, encouraged me to be creative.

Miulang

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Regarding tax subsidies, if you don't like it vote the party that created it out...by the way these programs have been in existance since we were all children so before you blast any single program out there ask your parents (if they're still alive) if they didn't subsidize your education or lifestyle as you were growing up. Chances are if your family was struggling and your parents were smart enough to take advantage of programs designed to help them, I'm pretty sure they at least considered it.

Also these programs aren't automatically given out without asking for something in return. Some federally funded programs ask those recipients to provide so many hours of community service as a way to "pay back" those subsidies.

The rest are given on a "qualification" basis.

And here's another thing to remember...Social Security benifits. Yes you earned them when you retire (provided you worked). Who's gonna subsidize this ponzie scheme? If you don't want to be the last man or woman out and be the sucker in this scam then you gotta leave that burden to the next generation to fund your retirement benefits reserved to you.

A well educated and socially responsible child will grow up to make decent bucks that will be taxed (like us) to provide for those of us reaching retirement age or are already in it. Those children who grow up and depend on our welfare system will not be contributing but will be hurting your social security benefits. So pay now or pay later. I would rather pay now and get that child to self sufficiency thru early education. Even if it's not my kid.

I still make a sizable donation to the Early School in Honolulu EVERY YEAR despite not having a single child attending it. Why because I believe in it and yes TES does provide tuition assistance for parents who cannot afford that level of early education but yearn for it. They provide it thru funds given them thru donations like mine.

Our tax dollars hard at work? You bet! Plus I'd rather see my tax dollars spent on children who have no choice than on some stupid art foundation backing someone dancing on a stage butt naked wiping human feces on his body making some kind of statement.

There are people out there who cannot help themselves because they weren't given the opportunity as a child to do so then. Do we want to perpetuate that social disadvantage thru our keiki? So we start with those children who are AT RISK and help those families who seek it.

If you don't like these kinds of programs then seek out your congressmen and women and voice it to them. If you don't like the way they're voting or representing you, vote them out. BTW most government subsidies are typically Democratically derived. So think before you vote.

I don't care if I'm in the minority here. This is a social problem that must be corrected by those who can. If you have the intelligence to come up with a practical solution then exercise it. Go down to the State Legislature and make your stance. Lobby the powers that be to affect change. Write those letters to your elected officials for change. BUT DO SOMETHING, not just whine about it.

As for beachboy, he's concerned about his boy. He wondered if he did or didn't do the right thing. Sometimes we make mistakes but it is nice to know there are social programs out there to help those who chose the wrong path and had to live with that consequence. Our tax dollars provide those less fortunate to have another option to better their lives after making mistakes.

So what does this have to do with grades? Everything! Bad grades mean you gotta spend more time helping your child develop. Bad grades left untouched will ultimately lead to a life of social suffering. Pay now for better education or pay later for incarceration. How would you like to see your hard earned tax dollars spent?

Pay the stupid tax and feel good knowing you helped your fellow man. Or don't and keep all your money to yourself. Nobody likes blood money anyway.

[MadAzza]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Wow, talk about missing my point.

OK, moving on.

[Beachboy]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

with only the second day of my son's third grade in. I feel like I have failed him somehow as a parent. He's struggling with his school work already! It has a real profound effect on my household. Tonight my beloved wife and I were arguing over what to do with our son. My wife and I both love our son equally...we just have different ideas as how to raise him! My wife thinks our son should repeat the 2nd grade over again. Myself, I think he's a perfect candidate for "homeschooling", but I can be wrong. As a Waikiki Beachboy(work my own hours) I think I could arrange to be his primary teacher at home, so that's not a problem.

Is there anybody out there have their kids homeschooling at all? I need your thoughts!

[tutusue]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

I know of a couple of large families (5-7 children) who homeschool. I don't know how they do it. Such dedication.

When I have a casting session involving school age kids, as I do now, I always ask the parents if they home school as that makes a difference on what time the children can come in. I'm seeing 35 children tomorrow and only one is home schooled. A few years ago there probably would've been at least 5. I don't know why there's such a difference now. All I know is that, in my experience, the numbers have declined.

Sorry I can't help you, tho'. Good luck with your research...and your infection!