Worried about son's grades at school this year!

[damontucker]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

I'm seeing 35 children tomorrow and only one is home schooled. A few years ago there probably would've been at least 5. I don't know why there's such a difference now.

Home schooling is more difficult than many people originally think. Sometimes people say they are going to Homeschool their kids... then when they see the real time it takes...they think differently....

Often times... many parent's think they can teach their children better than the schools..and often times they can... however, the burnout factor kicks in eventually and the children eventually end up going to a school somewhere.

I bet this trend that you have seen recently will flexuate for the next few years.

The Department of Education really needs to get its act together... I work there and I'm often frustrated by the "Hawaii Time mentality" however..... what other options do parents in Hawaii have????

nuff for NOW....

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Wow, talk about missing my point.

OK, moving on.

Sorry Maddie...When I say "You" I really mean...well I didn't mean you in general. So what was your point?

[GypsyLika]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

When my son was little, I think I was at the school once a week for one thing or another. That kid was a pain and I felt like I must have done something wrong. The teachers encouraged me by saying "He's not the worst one." My question was if you have a classroom filled with kids like my son & even worst, how is anybody learning anything?

With great encouraging teachers who did assessment after assessment on my Boy; it turned out he has a reading disability plus the an attention deficit thing going on and the p-b disease aka a bit of dyslexia courtesey of MY side of the family. I have the same issues but in my day dey it was called "stupidhead" or "lazy". *L*

Part of the problem(s) was solved by one on one tutoring. Plus alot of one on one with the teacher. Many of the teachers were understanding in that they would tell me, "if we gave him a written test he would fail BUT if we gave him a verbal test he'd ace it and tell us more then we needed to know and teach us something."

For years in elementary school the teachers told me HE would grow out of it. Well, long story long; my son did improve with alot of help from his teachers & friends. Part of it was a peer pressure thing and he wanted to play sports. He understood bad grades no sports no traveling. He learned that because it was harder for him to read and write he would have to work twice, three times harder then his classmates.

As a parent, you do what you gotta do and then some. Patience, research, ask around, and pray every day. It gets worst before it gets better, then it gets ok and its all good.

[Beachboy]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

When my son was little, I think I was at the school once a week for one thing or another. That kid was a pain and I felt like I must have done something wrong. The teachers encouraged me by saying "He's not the worst one." My question was if you have a classroom filled with kids like my son & even worst, how is anybody learning anything?

With great encouraging teachers who did assessment after assessment on my Boy; it turned out he has a reading disability plus the an attention deficit thing going on and the p-b disease aka a bit of dyslexia courtesey of MY side of the family. I have the same issues but in my day dey it was called "stupidhead" or "lazy". *L*

Part of the problem(s) was solved by one on one tutoring. Plus alot of one on one with the teacher. Many of the teachers were understanding in that they would tell me, "if we gave him a written test he would fail BUT if we gave him a verbal test he'd ace it and tell us more then we needed to know and teach us something."

For years in elementary school the teachers told me HE would grow out of it. Well, long story long; my son did improve with alot of help from his teachers & friends. Part of it was a peer pressure thing and he wanted to play sports. He understood bad grades no sports no traveling. He learned that because it was harder for him to read and write he would have to work twice, three times harder then his classmates.

As a parent, you do what you gotta do and then some. Patience, research, ask around, and pray every day. It gets worst before it gets better, then it gets ok and its all good.

I really appreciate the words of encouragement from you, and all the others here! I'm probably more worried than necessary. It's hard to figure out. Here I have this wonderful boy at home who does everything I ask of him...everything!! Yet he has this learning disability, so it's hurts me beyond words. That is why I'm considering "homeschooling". I love my kids so much, that I'll make the necessary sacrific needed to make it work.

[GypsyLika]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

with only the second day of my son's third grade in. I feel like I have failed him somehow as a parent. He's struggling with his school work already! It has a real profound effect on my household. Tonight my beloved wife and I were arguing over what to do with our son. My wife and I both love our son equally...we just have different ideas as how to raise him! My wife thinks our son should repeat the 2nd grade over again. Myself, I think he's a perfect candidate for "homeschooling", but I can be wrong. As a Waikiki Beachboy(work my own hours) I think I could arrange to be his primary teacher at home, so that's not a problem.

Is there anybody out there have their kids homeschooling at all? I need your thoughts!

I put my son in kindergarten at age 5 because thats how I was raised. 5 years old YOU go to school. Teachers & counselors both told me that with boys that one year does make a difference. My son repeated 2nd grade. We moved at that time so it wasn't a problem w/ peers since he switched schools.

I don't have the "personality" to homeschool my own kids. If my son doesn't listen to me when I tell him to clean his room why would he listen to me teaching him, you know what I mean. Besides my income was/is always necessary for family survival so homeschooling was not an option.

[kaneohegirl]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

My wife thinks our son should repeat the 2nd grade over again.
Myself, I think he's a perfect candidate for "homeschooling", but I can be wrong. As a Waikiki Beachboy(work my own hours) I think I could arrange to be his primary teacher at home, so that's not a problem.

Is there anybody out there have their kids homeschooling at all? I need your thoughts!

Homeschooling takes many hours of dedication an kids try to get away with more because you are the parent that they know how to push your button to make you say "PAU already" for the day/hour which can cause your son to fall further behind than he already is.

I agree with your wife pull him out of 3rd grade put him back in 2nd grade some things will be a review but others he will learn that he may not have been able to grasp the first time around. I also recomend a getting a different 2nd grade teacher. that will give him the sense that he did not fail and still give him a new learning/coping experience. it also will prevent him from falling into old patterns with his old teacher that may have prevented him from "getting it" the first time around

like I said before my son repeated 3rd grade this year and his reading skills have improved 150% handwriting is still a little sloppy but that will come in time.

he starts 4th grade in 2 weeks and I feel he is more prepared to cope now

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Beachboy...you may want to consider one of the many Public Charter schools as a possibility. Unlike the standard DOE public schools, charter schools offer more individual attention to the child. They can tailor the curricullum to the child's needs without worry of skipping grades.

I don't like the idea of sending a child into deeper water if they cannot tread yet (sending a failing child to the next grade), however I do see some of the rationale of doing so. At his age academics isn't the main objective of the brain's desire to learn. But he's quite capable of learning social and reasoning skills that his peer age is just right for him.

When a child knows the "underclassmen" will be his classmates while his current classmates go on to the "bigger" grades, he may feel like a failure in your eyes. That can set a dangerous precedence for his education foundation.

If you're still worried about your child, get in touch with his teachers and have meetings with them to determine how he's functioning in class and what you as a parent can do to help him along (if he needs it). Your child's teacher is a valuable resource in his learning ability, they see your child in ways you can't so listen to them.

[Beachboy]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

Beachboy...you may want to consider one of the many Public Charter schools as a possibility. Unlike the standard DOE public schools, charter schools offer more individual attention to the child. They can tailor the curricullum to the child's needs without worry of skipping grades.

I don't like the idea of sending a child into deeper water if they cannot tread yet (sending a failing child to the next grade), however I do see some of the rationale of doing so. At his age academics isn't the main objective of the brain's desire to learn. But he's quite capable of learning social and reasoning skills that his peer age is just right for him.

When a child knows the "underclassmen" will be his classmates while his current classmates go on to the "bigger" grades, he may feel like a failure in your eyes. That can set a dangerous precedence for his education foundation.

If you're still worried about your child, get in touch with his teachers and have meetings with them to determine how he's functioning in class and what you as a parent can do to help him along (if he needs it). Your child's teacher is a valuable resource in his learning ability, they see your child in ways you can't so listen to them.

I spoke with his teacher briefly this morning. We came to the understanding that he will stay after class everyday for 5 to 10 minutes. This short period of time is for him to make sure he has written down his homework assignments for that evening. Plus to make sure he got all his daily work done. I'm very greatful that my son attends Liholiho Elementary School. They are truly like family there. Last year his second grade teacher, Mrs Yee would spend a half hour with him daily after school to help him catch up with the class. He developed more last year than any of his previous years at Liholiho School.

I just want it to work out for him. It put a big wedge into our family last night...I'm talking about the difference my wife and I had over the solution to our son's problem. The love my wife and I have for our kids, knows no boundries! But we both have different ideas for our kids, and how we should raise them..

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

The love my wife and I have for our kids, knows no boundries! But we both have different ideas for our kids, and how we should raise them.

Then may you both keep this thought, like a giant banner headline, uppermost in your minds (as I am certain you will):

This is an issue where you will work to unite your family - you will not let it divide you. This is not about standing your different grounds or gaining control or in any way "winning out" over your spouse; it is about what you will do, as a united family, to help your child succeed - it is about their future, not yours.

[tutusue]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

[...]This is an issue where you will work to unite your family - you will not let it divide you. This is not about standing your different grounds or gaining control or in any way "winning out" over your spouse; it is about what you will do, as a united family, to help your child succeed - it is about their future, not yours.

Precisely! Understanding that both you and your wife have your children's best interest at heart, my unsolicited advice is to speak with a counselor (maybe a child psychologist) who can help the 2 of you to compromise, set ground rules and give you tools that will enable your son to see that loving, united front. Is there a chance your son is subconsciously reacting to the division in how he's being raised? Kids are so intuitive that way but, at that age, don't know how to express it.

Anyway...just some thoughts. Your caring and concern is evident.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

And remember, a child only knows their parents as their foundation. So when they see parents argue or disagree with one another, the child sees their foundation tremble.

A strong marriage helps for a content child. A divided one can anxietize a child. Focus on keeping continuity in your marriage and your child can focus on being a kid instead of the instability of his foundation.

[Beachboy]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

again, i had a brief conference with my boy's teacher after school yesterday. It also gave me a chance to introduce my wife to the teacher too. I went away feeling good about our meeting. So at the present time my wife and I will work with our boy's teacher. The most important part...we are all on the same page with regard to our son. Hopefully it won't come down to pulling him out of the third grade, or even thinking about homeschooling either.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Worried about son's grades at school this year!

may I ask what it is that concerns you regarding your kid?