I think I have depression

[1stwahine]

Re: I think I have depression

To be honest, I was very unhappy and sad for most of my life up until around August of 2005.I couldn't let go of the past, where I was mercilessly harassed and picked on because I was haole in high school.Plus I was unhappy that I never was ever successful in being a relationship with a girl. Things changed after I met this girl and we went out for a month and half.Even though we broke up,i've been very happy since then.It is like now I can go out and meet people and not feel pressure about hooking up with a girl.

Good for you Aaron! Cyber Hugs to you. One of my secrets when I go out is to SMILE at everybody and say hello or Aloha! No matter if a person is grouchy...they'll smile back. It's contageous. A good way to make friends and potential girlfriends/boyfriends?

Auntie Lynn

[Konaguy]

Re: I think I have depression

Well you know the saying "the grass is greener on the other side." Well
for me it fits me to a "T". As I was able to experience being in a relationship.
But I saw that I like my freedom to do my own thing at this point to meet
people. On the flip side it helped me move on and help let go past demons
that were haunting me for most of my life.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: I think I have depression

it helped me move on and help let go past demons
that were haunting me for most of my life.

Pushing forward in life, rather than being pulled backward, is generally healthy. Glad this has happened to you, Aaron.

[Konaguy]

Re: I think I have depression

Pushing forward in life, rather than being pulled backward, is generally healthy. Glad this has happened to you, Aaron.

I completely agree, as I was extremely misrable and unhappy. I was in really
bad shape. But now, its like I'm much happier and a lot less pressured.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: I think I have depression

I bring up the legal issues because some jobs require sound mind and judgement. Any record of mental illness could persuade an employer of not hiring or promoting you.

Yes Miulang you are correct one cannot outwardly ask you if you were diagnosed for mental illness but there are ways an employer can find out and bias their opinion on your ability to do a job.

What sprung me out of my clinical depression was a combination of drug therapy and one night at a support group meeting at the Makiki Park rec center.

My girlfriend (four year relationship) left me on the day after Christmas a few decades ago. Feeling like a candy wrapper tossed out with the garbage after the candy was consumed I wanted to end my life. Depression set in and lasted for almost one year as I seeked therapists, hypnotists, psychologists, and even self-help books. I finally seeked the help of a very familiar psychologist (yes even I saw Dr. Do in the First Interstate building on S. King street). She prescribed me an anti-depressant and it lifted my spirits somewhat but I was sinking to new lows in my life and the medication didn't seem to work enough.

I went to this support group meeting one fateful night at the Makiki Rec Center and listened to people talk about their depression. One girl cried when she spoke of the embarrassment of having a coworker yell at her in front of others about her dirty wastebasket. Another stevadore weeped when he was humiliated in front of his coworkers for allowing a tug to bump into the pier and being yelled at for doing a lousy job.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could you fall into clinical depression because some jerk yelled at you. I was dumped by my fiance! The love of my life left me a shell of myself. As I was about to give my heart wrenching story, this big man gave his story about going to jail for a stupid stunt he did. He loved his daughter but his wife denied him the opportunity to see his daughter while in prison. The wife eventually divorced him and took full custody of their daughter.

When I heard that my little depression turned to dust as I realized he had lost something greater than his own self-esteem and there was nothing he could do about it.

As I sat there I heard the moderator calling out to me for my turn. I stood up and couldn't speak. How could I tell my story of pain when this big exconvict of a man just broke down to tears in front of us with a truly heart wrenching story.

I looked up and this determination welled up inside me and I spoke out in anger. Months of self pity kept me from seeing me as others did and suddenly I saw reality. I turned to all and said, "we come here to wallow in our depression, and we respond by saying poor you. This man before me has a story none of us can come close to including myself. He cannot do anything about his problem but seek inner strength. We can do the same and dammit I won't let another person control my life ever again to allow me to sink to humiliating lows anymore, this is my first and my last time I'll ever need to be here and I hope this story will give everyone here the muster to overcome their own pity and face the world with all the dignity you have because that's the only thing nobody can ever take from you."

And I left with this renewed vigor to accomplish my goals and not let the emotional baggage of life stop me from realizing them. And here I am retired at 45 happily married with six kids and money in the bank.

Whenever life throws a lemon at me...yeah I love to make lemonade. Life's a bitch and I love to slap em around now and then.

Don't let the acts of others diminish your dignity because it's not theirs to control. You are the captain of your life.

[Konaguy]

Re: I think I have depression

Don't let the acts of others diminish your dignity because it's not theirs to control. You are the captain of your life.

It took me almost 30 years to realize this, but I was stuck in self pity
mode for most of my life. You are definately the captain of your life,
no one else can control you, unless you let them. Thus I couldn't
be happier, as its like my life has turned 360 degrees .

[Peshkwe]

Re: I think I have depression

Another thing to have checked is your thyroid gland, hypothyroidism can sometimes seem like depression because the thyroid helps regulate your bodily energy resources.

http://www.mentalhealth.com/mag1/p51-thyr.html

[Moto]

Re: I think I have depression

It took me almost 30 years to realize this, but I was stuck in self pity
mode for most of my life. You are definately the captain of your life,
no one else can control you, unless you let them. Thus I couldn't
be happier, as its like my life has turned 360 degrees .

It reminds me of the saying, "You cannot control what other think or do, all you can control is how you will react to their actions."

[1stwahine]

Re: I think I have depression

It reminds me of the saying, "You cannot control what other think or do, all you can control is how you will react to their actions."

eXACTO mUNDO...

True Story. Yesterday.

5:37 pm. As I was walking on Kukui Street across Hosoi Garden Mortuary fronting Kukui Towers Parking Lot, an oriental fiftish male was walking in the middle of of the road. Cars were tooting their horns as they swayed their cars to not hit him. He was shirtless and it looked as if he had talc or some kind of powder all over his upper body. He seemed in a daze.

Everybody was just staring and not doing nothing. I couldn't do the same. I was worried that he would get bang or injure himself. I yelled out to him to come on the sidewalk. Wrong mistake. Like I said, I wanted to help him.

He came unto the side walk. Headed straight for me...and with a vengence. Little did he know he was approaching someone like himself who was out of LITHIUM!!!!

"I going kill you" he shouted to me.

"Excuse me?" I answered him politely.

"I going kill you" he repeated himself.

Then his hands raised above as if ready to strike me.

I backed up. Side-stepped. Then unleashed the Demons in me that were asleep for so long...

"Mother fxxxxr! Come on down! Kill me? HAHAHAHAHA!" The entity in me couldn't stop from talking. I had to dig deep inside myself to make it STOP! The man was no where to be found.

I went to Longs Pali to pick-up my Lithium.

...I'm home now. Safe and sound.

Have a beautiful day eveyone!

Auntie Lynn

[craigwatanabe]

Re: I think I have depression

And I thought Lithium was only for batteries

When I used to work for the Gas Company in Honolulu, you tend to work there for life, retire, then attempt to live the good life. Well many who tried after working all their lives simply died from diabetes, stroke or heart failure. Hosoi Mortuary and Borthwick across the street in Downtown Honolulu became familiar to me as a lot of my senior co-workers passed on. Pretty soon both mortuaries were becoming known at the Gas Company as the retirement home for us buggahs cuz that's where you go after retirement straight to the funeral parlour

I didn't want to end up like that so when I was in my early 20's and freshly employed there seeing all of the retiree's kicking the bucket right after the retirement party at some tea house, I figured out on retiring early in my 40's and have a chance to enjoy life with my kids instead of watching them as an old man from my favorite recliner.

Life is what you make of it, and I chose not to wallow in self-pity after breaking up with my fiance. I set my goals early in life and like tunnel vision stayed focused until I realized them.

Now as I sit at this computer thinking back at the roller coaster ride in my 20's and 30's I feel blessed that I was able to take good advice back then and make my dreams come true. My kids are on winter break and tearing up the living room but they are having fun and will clean up the mess when they're thru. My 42" rear projection TV set has a crack in the front screen from my 2-year old throwing his metal truck at it one day, but for some reason I'm not going ballistic over it.

But coming out of depression was like a re-awakening and a better appreciation of life. I feel for those in their 20's. It's a difficult time as society still thinks you'r a kid yet at the same time expects you to act like an adult. You're still learning to use those life tools your parents gave you but haven't mastered them yet.

It's in your 20's is when you can afford to make mistakes, learn the hard way, and miss those immediate goals. But it's also a time when you set the foundations for your life to build on as an independent adult. I built my foundation many times and have had it destroyed by failed relationships, events and other misgivings but even thru depression you still rebuild with the hope that this one will survive. Eventually one will and you can lead a secure and prosperous life.

I don't know if the foundation I'm on right now will crumble beneath me one day, but for everyday I depend on it, I never take it for granted and always find ways to keep it strong.

What is my foundation? My devotion to my wife. When my wife and I are content, the children feel content and that's their foundation, the parents.

When my family is content, I'm at peace with my life and my wife knows that. Okay my 2-year old is throwing his Duplo blocs at the TV set again And to think I wanted a plasma TV set

[pisces]

Re: I think I have depression

another way to help depression is to help others!......instead of surfing the net all day - why not take an hour or two and try and volunteer some of your time - this will make you feel good about yourself, especially if it's involved with helping others that are less fortunate then you -

[anapuni808]

Re: I think I have depression

Hi - this sounds like you're talking about my daughter, Melinda, who is a counselor and works with a lot of students. She would be very happy to know you're doing well.

Fran

[1stwahine]

Re: I think I have depression

...even those who take medications can slip into depression. Depression is sneaky. I know. I have it. I'll get better.

BTW: Happy Birthday Fran!

HAPPY NEWS YEARS 2006 EVERYBODY!

Auntie Lynn

[tutusue]

Re: I think I have depression

This is a very interesting thread but I think what should be kept in mind are the different types of depression. If depression is caused by an imbalance in the brain's chemistry then medication is needed. Hear that, Tom Cruise?!!! Anyway, it would be difficult to benefit from the many wonderful suggestions in this thread without first correcting an underlying medical problem if that's the cause. And that needs to be diagnosed by an MD.

Another big contributor to depression is sleep deprivation and not the kind used in interrogations! It's possible to sleep all night and not get any or enough stage 3 or 4 sleep. And some people react to depression by sleeping too much. Depression is a very complicated issue.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: I think I have depression

Whether it's sleep deprivation or chemical imbalance, depression is the body's inability to maintain it's pharmacological balance. Emotional upheavals are some of the first indicators of this imbalance.

Environment as well as health can put the body out of balance however it is the body's reaction to those two stimuli that causes it to become unbalanced. Sometimes all it takes is to get out of that environment to get the body to begin producing the necessary chemicals to put itself back in the pink, sometimes it takes prescription drugs to kick start the body back to normalcy.

When you're depressed emotion takes over and really clouds the mind's ability to think clearly and react properly. It takes an external stimuli like environment, friends or drugs to put you back into perspective if the depression has been determined to be "clinical". It's hard to do it on your own, and as ubsurd as it may sound, sometimes listening to your close friends can be good solutions as they know you better than yourself.

Hey Life can be as tough as nails but like I tell my kids, sometimes you gotta be the hammer in life. Be the one in control .