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  • #31
    Re: Breakups

    LOL at your original post. I went through those before. Best of luck in getting out of your funk soon...you eventually will.

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    • #32
      Re: Breakups

      Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
      Lol! Heels!! I hope so!

      Thanks so much all of you! Your kind words have been so amazing! Maui is probably just what I needed. I haven't been sad for even one minute since the day after i got here!! I feel SO much better this week! I'm extending my stay til weds, and moving out of this hotel and over to stay with my friend and her mom in Kihei! Awesome! Maui, truly, no ka oi!!

      Hey, sg, you were right! I followed a pig trail over to Maui, and into the next phase of my life!
      I'm so glad you're feeling better! Never got to go, but Maui always seemed like an awesome island and was on my list. Maybe we should have a new saying: Pig trails heal all wounds, just wear comfy flops?
      And if you get back to Oahu and start getting sad, I know of a nice overly WARM place you can come visit. Jason even said for you to come. There's no beach, but we can go to our neighborhood pool and throw salt at each other and pretend it's the ocean.

      Can't think of anything creative this time

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      • #33
        Re: Breakups

        Well, Im back from Maui, and SURPRISE half his stuff is gone, and he found an apartment while I was away. When I recover for the shock and can see thru my tears again, I will update.
        ~ This is the strangest life I've ever known ~

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        • #34
          Re: Breakups

          Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
          Well, Im back from Maui, and SURPRISE half his stuff is gone, and he found an apartment while I was away. When I recover for the shock and can see thru my tears again, I will update.
          Then you can toss out the rest of his stuff!
          Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: Breakups

            Ohhhhhhhh, Aaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhh! This suuuuuuucks! Gah, It sucks so bad!! Im finally getting used to having my own place, my ohana in the front house has been very supportive, and Im moving the furniture around to make this place uniquely mine. It huuuurts. Ex BF is being very kind to me thru all of this - he comes over every afternoon, and hes leaving me with all the furniture and dishes. Oh! Except for our plates that his family sent us, but he brought me 2 new dinner plates last night with cute sunflowers on them. I just cant be mad at him, even when I am really really mad at him he comes thru for me, he is handling this separation like a pro. We are slowly organizing things so as to be okay living apart. Its crushing and beautiful all at the same time! The ups and downs, twists and turns, are making me carsick! Aaauuggh!!
            ~ This is the strangest life I've ever known ~

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            • #36
              Re: Breakups

              Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
              Ohhhhhhhh, Aaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhh! This suuuuuuucks! Gah, It sucks so bad...Aaauuggh!!
              You will know you are better when you can say...









              wait for it.....















              Meh!

              hugz, TG. We love you.

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              • #37
                Re: Breakups

                Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
                Oh! Except for our plates that his family sent us, but he brought me 2 new dinner plates last night with cute sunflowers on them. I just cant be mad at him, even when I am really really mad at him he comes thru for me, he is handling this separation like a pro. We are slowly organizing things so as to be okay living apart. Its crushing and beautiful all at the same time! The ups and downs, twists and turns, are making me carsick! Aaauuggh!!
                Count your blessings, girl. Most breakups are much more painful and violent. And vindictive.

                Sounds like you are losing a great guy (which must make it even worse), but consider - if he was a a-hole, things would be stolen smashed etc.

                Sounds like he still cares for you (read 'loves you'), but just doesn't want a permanant commitment with you right now.

                I don't know what went wrong, but you gotta give him credit.... where credit's due.

                Still, I feel your pain. You can throw darts at his picture when you feel up to it.

                K^
                Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
                ~ ~
                Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
                Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
                Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

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                • #38
                  Re: Breakups

                  Preface:

                  Okay here's my take on this. Sorry Kaonohi, I know this guy is trying to be nice about things, but I'm rocking the boat here and not going to be nice about it. TG, here's the reality check and it's gonna hurt but if I didn't care about you I wouldn't be spending my time ranting about your situation okay? At HT we're family and I'm gonna be the stinker that can't stand it when someone is victimized and everybody's all cheery for the guy who victimized you! So read on:


                  So he's breaking up with you...and he's trying to reduce the burden by helping you out?

                  I'm sorry but this guy is confused. Look at it this way. Somebody stabs you in the back then tries to nurture you back to health all the while wanting to keep that knife firmly in place instead of trying to heal the wound.

                  If he cared about you why did he leave you? If he loved you why did he do this to you? TG you're the victim here, he's messed up and feeling guilty about it.

                  I'm rocking the boat here because you in every right should be flipping mad for being taken advantaged of!!

                  Who's trying to stay in control of this situation? You? Him? It sounds like he wants to maintain control by dishing out what he feels you need because of what he did to you!

                  When my ex ex ex ex girlfriend did that to me, she thought she could remedy my pain and left $100 on the kitchen table and a note. I took that money and subscribed to every porn magazine I could find and had it sent to her parents home with her first name "Bitch". Yeah I was flipping mad at her.

                  You give and give and give and when you're out of giving they toss you out like an empty candy wrapper and look for someone else to take from.

                  Remember, he did this to you...get mad, get it out of your system then get on with your life. As long as he continues to dish out the sympathy, he's just digging that knife in your back deeper and deeper prolonging the pain of separation.

                  Clean break. Close the door on this guy and move forward. Leave him holding that cutsie dinner plate. Take control of what you want and not what he wants for you. HE DUMPED YOU!!! And yet he's smelling like a rose in the way he's exiting your relationship with him? What's wrong with this scenerio? If he loved you...he wouldn't have done this to you.

                  TG you're just too nice of a person, and he's taking every advantage of that fact. I know I was in your shoes once upon a time. Get angry and funnel that energy into forging a new life without him. For every artifact you accept from him during this break up, those items will be constant reminders of who was in control when your life was turned upside down.

                  But that's just my opinion. Sorry to have ranted on this, but this thread hit a major button on me. You're deserve better TG, get this guy out of your life...the sooner the better. Send him one of these
                  Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: Breakups

                    Oh, Craig, thank you for that face-slap! its perfect for me today!

                    One correction, I dumped him back in December, right before xmas. Without going into detail, lets just say that he let me down in ways that I knew I could never accept from my husband, and I needed to let him go - boyfriend wise. Believe me, I would love to dramatically place all his stuff on the curb! And smack him in the face with my new plates! Hahahaaa! But the laptop Im typing this on is his, and Im not sure I can cover this months bills by myself. And I would like for us to remain amicable, tho his friends are unbelievably unreliable and disappointing, and Im busy working on my own hui! And I appreciate that hes not being crazy or anything, but hey, I picked him, and I know that he has a good heart.

                    LOL!! $100 worth of porn!!! Priceless!!

                    Ps, yeah, I think he feels bad about leaving, and is placating his guilt by trying to be helpful.
                    Last edited by turtlegirl; May 20, 2010, 04:45 PM.
                    ~ This is the strangest life I've ever known ~

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: Breakups

                      Originally posted by craigwatanabe View Post
                      Who's trying to stay in control of this situation? You? Him? It sounds like he wants to maintain control by dishing out what he feels you need because of what he did to you!
                      Originally posted by turtlegirl View Post
                      Ps, yeah, I think he feels bad about leaving, and is placating his guilt by trying to be helpful.
                      From my own perspective, I think you two are on to something here. He's not helping you out from a sense of altruism - he's doing it because it assuages his own sense of guilt. If he sees you not handling this too badly, he doesn't have to feel so bad about what he contributed to the relationship's collapse.

                      Act on that however you feel comfortable acting, but it's a possibility you ought to consider.

                      AND - remember that I'm speaking from my own experience here; I have NO PROOF that I am correct in assessing your situation. YMMV.

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                      • #41
                        Re: Breakups

                        "Living well is the best revenge"...not immature, vindictive behavior. 'Nuff said!

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                        • #42
                          Re: Breakups

                          Originally posted by tutusue View Post
                          "Living well is the best revenge"...not immature, vindictive behavior. 'Nuff said!
                          That is true...But for me I was an immature 28-year old and she deserved every bit of my vindictive behavior. Total Gold digger she was. But as you said and I've heard it said this way, "The best revenge is a sweet life"

                          BTW I cannot upset Tutusue too much, she knows my address. But I think my wife would love the porn magazines
                          Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

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                          • #43
                            Re: Breakups

                            Originally posted by craigwatanabe View Post
                            [...]
                            BTW I cannot upset Tutusue too much, she knows my address. But I think my wife would love the porn magazines
                            Bwaha! I guess I could google for the names of porn mags but, without google, the best I could do is Playboy! And I don't consider that porn! Oh wait...I recall a mag called Hustler or something like that. Would your wife like Playgirl?

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                            • #44
                              Re: Breakups

                              Originally posted by tutusue View Post
                              "Living well is the best revenge"...not immature, vindictive behavior. 'Nuff said!
                              Words I will live by!!

                              Although, his toothbrush is still here...

                              ...and the louvers and windowsills need cleaning....

                              ...I think I'd better put that toothbrush away where it won't tempt me.
                              ~ This is the strangest life I've ever known ~

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                              • #45
                                Re: Breakups

                                Originally posted by tutusue View Post
                                Bwaha! I guess I could google for the names of porn mags but, without google, the best I could do is Playboy! And I don't consider that porn! Oh wait...I recall a mag called Hustler or something like that. Would your wife like Playgirl?
                                Nah she gets the real deal everyday
                                Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                                Comment

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