Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

[Menehune Man]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

I see too much of myself in the first and feel the second has just recently, in our history, happened.

So what to do about it eh?! Hmmmm....

[salmoned]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

Why MM, I thought you'd never come around! Now, comrade, join with me in denouncing the tyranny of 'kind-heartedness'.

[Menehune Man]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

"If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

And another...
"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger."
Hermann Goering

Both are heavy man...

[surlygirly]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

Those were great to read. Thanks for posting them!

[LikaNui]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

"Don't touch my junk" by a male passsenger during a TSA patdown.

If the passenger really meant that, why did he take a Viagra before going to the airport???

Okay, Dave Shapiro had a bunch of great quotes in his column in today's paper. Here it is:

Somehow it doesn't feel right to joke about the news on Christmas morning, so instead I'll mark the day by sharing with you some of my favorite quotations about the season:

» "Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." — Eric Sevareid

» "There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." — Erma Bombeck

» "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know ... the birth of Santa." — Bart Simpson

» "Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us ... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird ... a social being capable of actual affection ... nuzzling its young with almost humanlike compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family." — Berkeley Breathed

» "Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it." — Richard Lamm

» "Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." — Dennis Miller

» "One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don't clean it up too quickly." — Andy Rooney

» "If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble." — Bob Hope

» "The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." — Jay Leno

» "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was 6. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." — Shirley Temple

» "I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark." — Dick Gregory

» "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." — P.J. O'Rourke

» "The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." — Joan Rivers

» "Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." — Mark Twain

» "New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time." — James Agate

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

"Don't touch my junk" by a male passsenger during a TSA patdown.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

I was told that the best way to handle stressful things is to treat them like a dog would: if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

- Nancy Hawkins

Ah, yes --- a reminder of our dearly departed HT-er, Barry.

[LikaNui]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

I was told that the best way to handle stressful things is to treat them like a dog would: if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

- Nancy Hawkins

[Menehune Man]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

"Jus' cuz it's been messed up, don't mean it's gonna be now.
Change your outlook brother."

Said to me...

[Kaonohi]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde

I heard this was from Sam'l Clemens (Mark Twain). Which is older,or who stole it from whom?

KK+?

[Kaonohi]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

There are no mistakes in the Universe; everything is proceeding according to Plan.
If you are experiencing distress, it is because you are not aligned with the Plan!
You know what to do next.

[acousticlady]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

When life hands you lemons... demand tequila and salt!!!

On the same line of thought.........

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and go find someone whose life gave them vodka!

[LikaNui]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

When life hands you lemons... demand tequila and salt!!!

[LikaNui]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

Inside my body there's a skinny guy crying to get out.
But I can always shut him up with a few Twinkies.

-- Anonymous

[LikaNui]

Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

I believe... that if you have a low enough SAT score you should be able to park in a handicapped stall.

I believe... that a marriage won't last if you the first time you saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a cover charge.

I believe... it's not possible to study for a rectal exam.



(Jeff Foxworthy/Bill Engvall/Larry The Cable Guy/Ron White, Blue Collar TV)