"You Learn Something Every Day"

[scrivener]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Today I learned that the laundry does not do itself.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

In my days of dating (and I've dated a lot) I discovered then that if you stay focused on who you are and be good at it, the kind of people you need to have a relationship with will gravitate to you. In otherwords, you will attract the kind of person you need simply because of who you are.

If you seem to be attracting the wrong person everytime, well it's time to re-evaluate your outward image and try to be who you really are instead of who you want to be.

How do you do this somewhat insurmountable feat? Just be yourself and the right person will find you. These aren't just pie in the sky words, this is from someone who yearned for a date in high school, dated women because I adapted to their attitudes (was used), then decided that I had to focus on #1 because if I'm not happy with myself how in the world would anybody else be? You be good to yourself, then other people will see the good in you and will want to be with you.

I focused on being confident and good at what I did and it was simply amazing at how I managed to get dates I never thought I could ever achieve. There I learned that women like guys with a positive attitude not guys that are desparate. I was so desparate to date a woman I scared them away. Now I'm so laid back my wife get's paranoid whenever we go out and a female looks our way. I look at my wife while holding her hand and kiss her to remind her that she's my #1

[scrivener]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

...then decided that I had to focus on #1...
*snip*
I look at my wife while holding her hand and kiss her to remind her that she's my #1

Hey. Make up your mind!

[craigwatanabe]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Hey. Make up your mind!

When I married her I devoted my life to her so she became my most important person in my world.

I know it's gambling a lot but for her I give her my total life as I trust her with it. She knows it and together we live our lives as one. Our children base their lives on our foundation we created together and depend on our stability to base their own foundations in relationships they encounter.

The success of your children are based on the foundations of the family. The strength of that foundation comes from the marriage of the husband and wife that forged it. It takes two to form a marriage, it takes two to form a family. You break that partnership, you break the family. My wife and I live for each other, the children see that and are assured that their foundations for which their lives are based on is a solid one.

From that our children see the love we have for each other and at the same time develop an independance from us so that one day they too can form their own partnership and family.

So maybe I should rephrase that previous statement and it should be that the marriage between my wife and I are #1. Everything else simply falls into line from that success.

[MadAzza]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Today (actually, all this week) I learned that I got my car insured just in time for the rainy weather. I would have gotten soaked every day on my bike between Kapolei and town.

But I also learned that it's more aggravating to be stuck in a four-wheeler when some dingaling is sitting in the passing lane ... arrrgh! So much easier to whip around 'em on the bike. Yeah, even if it means lane-splitting! (heee!) Oh, well ... at least I'm dry. And I listened to Abbey Road on the way to work today, which was a great way to start the day!

[scrivener]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

There's a columnist named John Rosemond who says all the time what you're saying--that the family should not revolve around the children, that the marriage comes first. I've agreed with this and believed it my whole life, but nowadays it's hard to find others who also agree, especially in Hawaii. "I'd do anything for my kids," you often hear people say, and that just makes me want to scream. I find your words refreshing and encouraging.

[Glen Miyashiro]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

There's a columnist named John Rosemond who says all the time what you're saying--that the family should not revolve around the children, that the marriage comes first. I've agreed with this and believed it my whole life, but nowadays it's hard to find others who also agree, especially in Hawaii. "I'd do anything for my kids," you often hear people say, and that just makes me want to scream. I find your words refreshing and encouraging.

Ugh. John Rosemond gets on my nerves. I mostly agree with his marriage-first-and-the-kids-will-be-fine approach, but I always get this ultra conservative vibe from his columns that sets my teeth on edge.

[scrivener]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

He's very conservative, so I understand. However, I like him. A lot. I must be very, very conservative in my views on parenting.

You know, so many of my fellow Christians come across as fanatical or just plain stupid; it's nice, I think, when some of them come across as reasonable and intelligent. I totally, totally understand why a lot of people dislike him, but I'm glad he's there. He gives me hope that there can be intelligent discourse from both ends of the political spectrum if enough respect is paid both ways.

[craigwatanabe]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

When my mother and father were talking divorce recently (after 50+years of marriage) I told them that to each other they are different people with no biological connection other than the saliva they pass to each other when the kiss.

But to us as their children, they are our what binds us as their children. When they tear the marriage apart, they are literally tearing the children apart as well. I don't mean having to choose which parent to live with, but when the foundation crumbles so does the child's basis for existance. Their lives were based on the foundations of the family they grew up in, now that very ground has shaken and has left the children without something to land on.

This is why the marriage is THE most important element in any family. Biologically speaking, without the marriage there is no family unit. Without that unit how does one validate their existance anymore other than to boldly proclaim their own existance.

For kids who love both parents and have to witness a divorce, the trauma can be only described as being an astronaut out in space and seeing the Earth blown apart. What do you do now? What you thought was Mother Earth is no longer there. Your foundations for existance has been blown apart and there is nothing left to love. You literally feel abandoned.

So if one has to say it's for the children, then for the sake of them, keep the marriage solvent so they can believe their foundations will always be there to catch them when they fail...and in life they will over and over again. It's up to their parents to pick them up and tell them it's alright to fail but to get up and try again. How can a parent validate that advice if their own marriage failed and no attempt was made to keep the marriage a healthy one.

A solid marriage can authenticate the reality that life can perpetuate but only thru a solid basis for existance. Children need that comfort that their lives have meaning and their parents are there to nurture it whether they're too young to realize it or in adulthood.

[Glen Miyashiro]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Scrivener, I agree. Rosemond seems intelligent and reasonable. I can see his biases and compensate for them. I imagine that if I met him, I'd be able to carry on a decent conversation with the man.

[LikaNui]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

I learned today that Ryan is a wonderful administrator and xoom-ed that spammer right off the boards the very day they joined! Zap! Pow! Banned!
On behalf of all of us: Mahalo, Ryan!

[scrivener]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

I learned today that the laundry doesn't do itself the next day, either.

[1stwahine]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

I learned that it's ok to cry.

I learned how to post a picture on HT.



Auntie Lynn

[jdub]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Shadup! Quit that stinking job! YOU? Getting up at 530ayem? A new man! My gawd brah, you truly hate yourself.
I don't. I think your boss will burn in hell for cruelty. That or go to jail for running one sweat shoppe. Pig! Burn, creepy boss, burn!

hahahaha...yowza lady! you hold a grudge like bin laden!

i learned today that i can get to work in 10 minutes on my bike...sweet...

for the record, i'm doing patsy's work while she's on vacation...i just got a raise that will finance a 2-week vacation that has been approved, as well as a sweet bennies package, so i'm not complaining...but i don't have to be there for 10 hours per day, either...

i've learned that a cab home from a wednesday night gig at kelly o'neill's on lewers will cost me $20...ouch

[1stwahine]

Re: "You Learn Something Every Day"

Congrat's Jamie! I'm still seeing Dog Bites.

Auntie Lynn