please help...I'm doing bad in school

[localgrl]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

I think we all go through this, when I graduated from high school, I went into college for that's what was expected of me, however since I was not into the studying thing or because that's what everbody wanted me to do, I pretty much dropped out and left it alone. So I think you have to make the choice on either if you are willing to stand on your own two feet w/o the parents support or you continue to do what the parents tell you and feel like a failure. The best thing for me was I let go of the parents dream and "flew" on my own, than later in life I decided to go back to school. Now almost 20 years after graduating from high school, I'm a full-time college student and getting a GPA of 3.5, and it's not because someone else wants me to be there, but because I want to be there. So Shredder, the choice is yours, you got excellent advice from a whole lot of people here, now it's time for you to decide on where you want to go from here. Again the best of luck on all that you do.

[Miulang]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Like Manoa says, if your parents are physically abusing you, get the heck out of there (and being yelled at constantly also constitutes abuse)! Go live with friends or relatives if you have to, go get a job to help support yourself.

Maybe why you can't study too well is because you're depressed about your situation. Definitely go talk with a counselor at school. That person can then try to figure out how to get you the help you need to get the proper social services as well as academic help.

Maybe if you were living in a different situation you wouldn't be compelled to feel so frustrated and hopeless, and when you have that pressure off your back, you will definitely do better.

Take care!
Miulang

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Shredder, if I was in your shoes, I would seriously consider joining the military. It will get you out of your folks' home, get you on your own two feet, and will present you with opportunity.

[Shredder]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Sounds like abuse. Get out of the situation. No one deserves to be hit or slapped around because of grades.

I would do what ever I could to get away from them... maybe the intense pressure at home is why your not doing good in school?

If your constantly ducking everytime your parent raises there hand...then your living in Fear. It would be hard to study while living in fear. That may be part of your problem.

May I ask... did your parents go to College?

Nope. Never. They told me themselves. My parents aren't really abusive. It's just that they get extremely mad when it has to do with the grades.

Localgirl, I have to stick with studying even though I'm not into it. All my friends don't like to study either but just like me they have no choice but to study. So I'm gonna keep studying. I have no problem with that. It's just that my parents are so upset about me not getting all credits and stuff to get into UH. They need to understand that it can take more than 4 years to graduate since it's not like high school and there lots of credits to earn..damn
Yea, I wasn't clear I guess. I'm not into studying but I can stick with it and keep studying it's just that my poor grades gave me some depression and my parents pressuring me a lot.

[Miulang]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Nope. Never. They told me themselves. My parents aren't really abusive. It's just that they get extremely mad when it has to do with the grades.
.

You know what I think the problem is for your parents? They're comparing you to other kids your age or their own college experience. When I was in college many years ago, yes, it was very unusual if you were not able to get your Bachelor's degree in 4 years. You know what, though? Nowadays it's very RARE that any kid can get a college degree in just 4 years. If one or both of your parents did go to college, they're probably remembering THEIR experiences. But I bet anything that the requirements they had to graduate were far far fewer than what you guys have to go through today.

One example: I have a nephew who took 5 years to get a degree in Environmental Science from UNLV. What's he doing with his degree? Absolutely nothing. He's still in Las Vegas, unemployed and living off my brother's credit cards. His brother just graduated this May from a college in Oregon after 5 years with a Japanese major. He was offered 2 teaching jobs in Japan (will be getting $27/hr). He leaves for Nagoya in a couple of weeks on a 3-year contract.

I think you're smart. I also think you're depressed and need professional help to get out of your slump.

Malama pono,
Miulang

[kaneohegirl]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Shredder, if I was in your shoes, I would seriously consider joining the military. It will get you out of your folks' home, get you on your own two feet, and will present you with opportunity.

I totally agree with the above statement! you join up for the necessary 4-6 yrs you learn very valuable skills not only trade skills but character building ones also. you get to travel and see new places.

as a bonus when you get out you have money available to pay for college as well as added perks like when you go to buy a house you can use Veterans benefits and any government jobs you get extra points on the exams

[SouthKona]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Do your parents' pay your tuition?
Do you live at home? Do you pay any room/board?
Do you dorm? Do your parents pay for that?
Who pays for your meals? Clothes? Medical needs? [Your parents?]
Do you drive? Who pays for the car, insurance, gas? [Your parents?]

If they pay all your bills, and in return only ask that you do your best but instead you barely pass, that might explain why they

It's just that they get extremely mad when it has to do with the grades.

[Shredder]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Do your parents' pay your tuition?
Do you live at home? Do you pay any room/board?
Do you dorm? Do your parents pay for that?
Who pays for your meals? Clothes? Medical needs? [Your parents?]
Do you drive? Who pays for the car, insurance, gas? [Your parents?]

If they pay all your bills, and in return only ask that you do your best but instead you barely pass, that might explain why they

To be honest, no I don't. My parents support me. But they said they have no problem with that.

[damontucker]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

I'm getting close to convinced your just trying to irk some of us now!

There's a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza... there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole.

To be honest, no I don't. My parents support me. But they said they have no problem with that.

I thought that this whole discussion was because your parents had a problem?
And what you could possibly do to improve your grades?

[Miulang]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

To be honest, no I don't. My parents support me. But they said they have no problem with that.

So then what's your real beef? You got a roof over your head, probably a car, gas money, spending money, too!

By living under their roof and having them support you that way, that constitutes a contract. Your end of the bargain (according to you), is to get good grades (or at least grades high enough for you to get into UH). Well, then I guess you're not upholding your end of the contract, are you?

Your parents think they are doing you a favor by supporting you now, but suppose you were 21 and in the same situation you're in today. What would you do if they kicked you out of the house? Maybe you're taking their support for granted. If you had to go out in the real world and work for a living, I'm pretty sure you'd do anything you had to to survive out there.

For now, if your parents are paying for everything you need and only expressing disappointment over your laxity in the academics area, then maybe you should join the military. You'd really learn to appreciate what your parents are doing for you after you've had a few years of military life under your belt.

Miulang

[Shredder]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

I'm getting close to convinced your just trying to irk some of us now!

There's a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza... there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole.


I thought that this whole discussion was because your parents had a problem?
And what you could possibly do to improve your grades?

This whole discussion was about getting advice to get my GPA up. Yea he's right. It's pretty shame getting bad grade even though I don't work. I got some good advice and at the same time I got more depression. Thanks.
I feel like **** now.

[damontucker]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

This whole discussion was about getting advice to get my GPA up. Yea he's right. It's pretty shame getting bad grade even though I don't work. I got some good advice and at the same time I got more depression. Thanks.
I feel like **** now.

sorry... just stating what I read! Good luck w/ getting your grades up...

Less time on the computer and more time studying...another word of advice

[Miulang]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

This whole discussion was about getting advice to get my GPA up. Yea he's right. It's pretty shame getting bad grade even though I don't work. I got some good advice and at the same time I got more depression. Thanks.
I feel like **** now.

Make an appointment to see an academic counselor TOMORROW. And tell that person some of the things you're feeling about your situation. That counselor (who is a professional) can help you sort out your ambivalence. And s/he might be able to get you to another counselor to help you deal with your depression. I think it's the depression that's your main problem right now. If you felt good about yourself and what you were doing, I really do think your grades would improve. But PLEASE go talk to an academic counselor right away!

Miulang

[Shredder]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

sorry... just stating what I saw! Good luck w/ getting your grades up...

Less time on the computer and more time studying...another word of advice

Nah..no need to apologize. I feel like down inside not because of what you said.

I don't know...my parents were strict about grades since beginning of my life.

[tutusue]

Re: please help...I'm doing bad in school

Ok...Shredder's parents are supporting him. It appears that's in exchange for a college edumacation! Nothing wrong with that. AND, nothing wrong with Shredder trying his damnedest and still having a tough time with his grades.

What is NOT ok...AT ALL...is physical, emotional or verbal abuse on the part of ANY parent. And over grades when one is really trying? Gimme a break. Shredder...here is what you wrote:

Dead like getting slapped in the face and getting hit and stuff like that.

Honest to God...that makes me sick. If you were 17 I'd personally call the authorities. Get out. Make it on your own. Go back to college when you feel ready. Abuse plays tricks on ones heart, soul and brain. Mend those and I bet you have an easier time with school.