Hate Crime?

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Hate Crime?

has anyone here been in a car accident where anger escalated? I have. My husband has. My father has. And it was nothing like the lovely piece of aloha spirit per Craig's description.

Skipping the details and heading straight for the moral: drive defensively and please keep your cool in an accident.

Excellent advice; if only one side is party to giving in to anger, it can't escalate quite as far.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Hate Crime?

I am struggling with the words to describe my point.

In pleasant and calm circumstances, I have been described as "regal". Where I am contemplative, I have been misread as "stuck-up". In frictious moments I try to head for clear and conscise, but the corollary feedback I often get is "intimidating". Yes, it works both for and against me and the older I get, the more I pay attention in how to keep it in check; control my body language.

My husband is that way. Most of my relatives are of similar demeanor. In stressful and traumatic moments, e.g. a car accident, when tension is already running high, it can be jet fuel.

Not every Hawaiian is a happy Hawaiian or a cute kanak. Tensions escalate and scraps do happen, no matter what the other guy's skin color is. It comes down his (or her) face; expression, embolden behavior, brazen stare.

Been there, stared that. And yeah, learned my lesson. A loooong time ago.

[Miulang]

Re: Hate Crime?

A little old lady "merged" into my lane a few months ago right in the middle of town. As we exchanged information, she kept apologizing profusely, explaining that maybe she shouldn't have been driving that day because she had just come from a close friend's funeral. Then she said that we could drive by her insurance agent's office and have the matter settled there (her car didn't get damaged at all...it was one of those older "tanks"...but my right front quarterpanel was dented slightly), but it was Saturday, so the office was closed. Her insurance paid for the repair, all $980 of it.

Even the few other times I have been in accidents with other cars, neither side got hostile; we just exchanged insurance information and drove on our way. I learned a long time ago that there are some things you should always do if you get into an accident: 1) never admit guilt (it could be used against you), 2) never get angry (or at least don't yell and scream because it could be used against you or could make things worse), and 3) always have your insurance information available.

It's harder to fix a person's broken body than it is a car.

Miulang

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Hate Crime?

Excellent advice; if only one side is party to giving in to anger, it can't escalate quite as far.

Being a sales associate in Home Depot, I encounter lots of hot heads. I make it a challenge to myself to defuse a situation before it erupts into something we'd all regret. In my almost three years working at Home Depot Hilo, I've only had one customer stomp outta the store on my account.

This guy was at the far end of the nail aisle when I came around the corner to help this lady find some nails. She was already with another associate who didn't know what kind of nails she needed and he called me to assist.

When this guy at the far end saw TWO associates helping this woman he flipped out. I mean FLIPPED OUT. He starts yelling, "What! Am I a f*ckin' nigger? And he starts going on this rampage of not being treated fairly.

Mind you he wasn't waving at us for help, he looked as if he was engaged in reading the back of a box of nails. In no way did he look as if he was even interested in getting help. But regardless, I was helping this other associate who tried to help this woman. I'm the hardware associate so I know things in the hardware department. This other associate was from the Kitchen and Bath department and wasn't sure about nails. So between the two of us we were able to help this poor woman who is now in shock at the demeanor of this customer.

I tell her, "we get this kind all the time, have a good day", and I immediately walk over to this ranting customer. He looks at me and I calmly tell him, "Hi sorry for the delay how can I help you sir?"

I see his hand coming up to catch me with a slap to the face so I step back and let his hand pass in front of me. He throws the box of nails on the ground and stomps out of the store screaming about feeling like a f*ckin nigger.

Now the entire store within proximity of this event is shocked as I respond with a polite, "Try to have a nice day sir!" "F*ck you asshole" he yells back.

"I'll try sir but I'm afraid that's impossible, come back again!"

Yep oh well I guess we just gave HPM another customer for life.

Oh BTW he was this white caucasian fresh off the boat from Texas. Braddah you gotta mellow out, take it easy, yeah das da way nice and slowwwww.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Hate Crime?

nowadays, since I epitomize maturity, I would never allow something as ill-fortuitous as an auto accident to develop into a nasty fray, but when I was younger, if someone told me to shut the f*ck up, I might have reacted.

[PoiBoy]

Re: Hate Crime?

Now the entire store within proximity of this event is shocked as I respond with a polite, "Try to have a nice day sir!" "F*ck you asshole" he yells back.

"I'll try sir but I'm afraid that's impossible, come back again!"

good stories craigwatanabe

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Hate Crime?

good stories craigwatanabe

Oh man I got a ton of em. Working retail has made me a more tolerable person...just ask my wife

[craigwatanabe]

Re: Hate Crime?

Yep oh well I guess we (Home Depot) just gave HPM another customer for life.

And who says big box retailers are out to destroy the local businesses

BTW I hear it from my haole customers when they tell me, "HPM stands for Haoles Pay More". Amazing, being Japanese I wouldn't have known.

[buzz1941]

Re: Hate Crime?

has anyone here been in a car accident where anger escalated?

Yes. We were involved witnesses. At Punahou offramp waiting for the light, my two little girls in the van with me. I hear BAM BAM BAM! behind me and look in the rearview just in time to see a car powering up between both lanes of stopped vehicles, hitting each one. Then they hit us and the car next to us, wedged in and stopped. There was a big local guy on the hood screaming. He had smashed the windshield with his hand and had his arm inside choking the haole driver, who had panicked with his foot on the gas. But the local guy had cut his arm on the edges of the broken window and was spraying blood everywhere. He slid off the hood and lay on the road shrieking and the haole guy bugged out and ran over to a building to call the cops. It was a real mess.
A cop told me later that the haole had made a hand signal for a right turn down the road, and the local guy had mistaken it for a bird flip and chased him to the offramp, where he jumped out and attacked the haole's car. The local guy's girlfriend was at the bottom of the ramp with his car, and when she got it up to the scene, she was pretty embarrassed.

[tutusue]

Re: Hate Crime?

has anyone here been in a car accident where anger escalated?[...]

Nope...thank God. I was in a minor fender bender a little over a year ago; a bump strong enough to cause a minor whiplash. It was rush hour at the corner of Queen and Alakea Sts. The man who rear ended me immediately got out of his car and walked to my window which was rolled down slightly. He asked if I was ok as he saw the movement of my head. We agreed to drive around the corner to Merchant St. to check for any damage. Once there, he asked again if I was ok. I was on my way to a chiropractic appt. anyway so the timing was perfect!!! There was no damage to either car. He and I hugged and said good-bye!

[...]It's harder to fix a person's broken body than it is a car.[...]

Ditto for a broken spirit. I can't begin to imagine the psychological trauma the military couple is going or will go thru. That kind of trauma can last a lifetime and can easily spiral into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; a condition that isn't cured, just managed. And, the husband with 2 tours of duty in Iraq and now this senseless beating. Jeez, what must that guy be going thru.

I wouldn't be surprised if the teen involved in the Waikele incident suffers from the same disorder, a result of the horrible beating by his father. I wonder how many other "punishments" went unreported.

[Miulang]

Re: Hate Crime?

Ditto for a broken spirit. I can't begin to imagine the psychological trauma the military couple is going or will go thru. That kind of trauma can last a lifetime and can easily spiral into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; a condition that isn't cured, just managed. And, the husband with 2 tours of duty in Iraq and now this senseless beating. Jeez, what must that guy be going thru.

Don't forget about the couple's 3-year-old kid who witnessed the beating. People think "aw, he's only 3; he won't remember any of this when he gets older". Uh huh.

Miulang

[tutusue]

Re: Hate Crime?

Don't forget about the couple's 3-year-old kid who witnessed the beating. People think "aw, he's only 3; he won't remember any of this when he gets older". Uh huh.

Miulang

Nope...didn't forget but didn't mention it 'cuz you did earlier! Someone as young as 3 may not show signs of trauma in the short term but it could show up years, decades even, down the road even if he has no memory of the event. Scary stuff.

[glossyp]

Re: Hate Crime?

New wrinkle in the story as the FBI steps into investigate whether a hate crime was committed. Star Bulletin story.

[alohabear]

Re: Hate Crime?

New wrinkle in the story as the FBI steps into investigate whether a hate crime was committed. Star Bulletin story.

"Something Wicked This Way Comes!"
Stay Tuned Folks........

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Hate Crime?

Stay Turned Folks........

But if I stay "turned," I won't be able to see my computer screen, and read updates on HT. (There may be a mixed blessing in that.)